be gay do crime || Dream SMP chatfic [abandoned & unfinished]

[Sam Nook: techno be nice]

[all hail philza minecraft] • 10.37pm

murder bunny: doilookcoolnow.jpg [selfie. everything is normal except small silver piercing on the left side of her nose, skin still red]

[dead? is online]

dead?: hello

dead?: you look nice niki

murder bunny: thank you george!

[pissbaby, dancing queen, Sam Nook and 3 others are online]

pissbaby: gogy :o

dead?: no.

[dead? is offline]

stabby: ha

stabby: L

pissbaby: techno :(

stabby: :)

Sam Nook: techno be nice

Sam Nook: you look really nice niki

stabby: sam cmon let me laugh at sad people

murder bunny: thank you sam!

dadza: niki you look pretty, when have you done this?

murder bunny: oh a few minutes ago

murder bunny: eret says hi btw

[gender is boring, let's commit some crime] • 10.40pm

who needs gender when violence exists: so, where are you Eret

[gender gremlin is online]

gender gremlin: i have no idea what you are talking about, Technoblade dearest, im with you, we left together, dont you remember?

who needs gender when violence exists: ...

who needs gender when violence exists: @forgot my gender, can we go back?

[forgot my gender, can we go back? is online]

forgot my gender, can we go back?: ?

who needs gender when violence exists: where's eret

who needs gender when violence exists: before you answer, consider this: i wont let you cuddle with steve anymore

forgot my gender, can we go back?: i wanted to say that i dont know but now i cant

gender gremlin: whos steve

who needs gender when violence exists: big plush bear wilbur bought for me

gender gremlin: cool

forgot my gender, can we go back?: bloodforthebloodhusband_7.mp4 [a video of Sam beating the shit out of some buff guy in the gym while Ranboo and Eret cheer in the background. Heavy music is playing and many people are watching the fight. Sam is clearly winning, as the other guy sways on his feet]

who needs gender when violence exists: tell sam to win for me

gender gremlin: im happy to inform that it all started after a comment from the guy about sam's hair, exactly: "i bet your girlfriend keeps you on a lead, you pussy. green hair? what the fuck is wrong with you, pussy"

gender gremlin: to which sam answered: "my partner is absolutely great and it was their idea so better watch for your mouth because if i dont fuck you up, they will"

forgot my gender, can we go back?: and then the guy tried to punch sam, sam moved away from the punch and thats how they've been for the past i think twenty minutes

forgot my gender, can we go back?: update: eret shouted to sam that they must win for you and he answered that it was his plan to which the guy he is currently punching into guts oh my dearest this looks painful anyways the guy said that he'd like to take a look at the bitch that made sam have green hair so

forgot my gender, can we go back?: would you like the address?

who needs gender when violence exists: yes please

[all hail philza minecraft] • 11.24pm

vwoop: bloodhusbandsbeatupsomebigot.mp4 [a video of techno basically beating the shit out of some typical redneck as sam cheers from the sidelines. same gym, same scenery as last vid, eret is seen on the edge collecting money from bets established early into sam vs redneck fight]

dadza: what happened

[dancing queen is online]

dancing queen: guy commented on sam's hair, sam got mad and told him that their partner (which is techno for those who dont know) is amazing and if he doesnt beat him their partner will so they started fighting

dancing queen: after 20 minutes and one more comment ranboo sent techno the address and vi came here and is now washing off blood from their hands and helping sam with his bruises.

dadza: i should ask why ranboo was there in the first place but i believe that the fight wasnt planned so you and sam had good intentions

vwoop: bloodhusbandsaww_56.jpg [photo of techno gently pressing gauze to a cut on sam's forehead. sam is smiling even if he's in visible pain, staring into techno's eyes softly.]

vwoop: techno said to tell you @dadza that vi will go to sam's flat and probably will be home in the morning

dadza: expected this, do you or eret need to be picken up

vwoop: eret has her car here, said she'll get me home soon, dont worry

dadza: ok, thank you

[dadza is offline]

[murder bunny,rubber duckie +2 more are online]

murder bunny: i cant believe you left me to get beaten up, how dare you guys /j

murder bunny: and people, what do you think about techno's new hairstyle? did i do good?

murder bunny: ive never shaved hair so its a miracle it worked out the way it did

vwoop: you did an amazing job niki :D

pissbaby: oh you did it? it looks really nice

rubber duckie: yes niki techno look's really good

rubber duckie: and ive just realized that i was so close to getting beaten the fuck up by sam the other day

rubber duckie: my life flashed before my eyes

pissbaby: oooooh what did you do

the local arsonist: accidentally told techno 'love you' when sam was literally next to them

pissbaby: LMAO

vwoop: bloodhusbandsaww_57.mp4 [video contains eret reading aloud last messages from quackity and sapnap to sam and techno. sam's face was patched up and the two were getting ready to leave with their bags on shoulders. sam was laughing and pointed at the camera saying "i think techno would be the first to beat him up if he said that to me, vi's the protective one". techno's face went bright red as vi stared at sam with deadpan expression. it's blush only deepened as sam kissed it on the cheek with laugh]