be gay do crime || Dream SMP chatfic [abandoned & unfinished]

[who needs gender when violence exists: im going to murder someone]

[all hail philza minecraft] • 7.52am

stabby: am going to be late for history, tell the prof

kaboom: ok, how late we talkin

stabby: 20 minutes give or take

[local arsonist is online]

local arsonist: ill be late too

[dadza is online]

dadza: why so many of you are running late, eret and ranboo just asked to excuse them too

[private message] technothepig → philza the minecraft guy

best kid: i was at work and slept in

father dearest: what about boo n eret?

best kid: do you think i know, probably stayed up late

[private message] sappynappy → philza the minecraft guy

sappynappy: im running late, not entirely my fault

philza the minecraft guy: then whos

sappynappy: wish i could tell you, you know them tho

[private message] your majesty → philza the minecraft guy

ert: ill drop off ranboo around end of 2nd period, cant faster

phl: ye sure

[all hail philza minecraft] • 9.53am

honking idiot (with love): it-be-speachless.mp4 [a video from English class, Technoblade can be seen rendered speechless as the teacher is talking about Achilles and Patroclus and how they are mistakenly portrayed as friends in media]

Sam Nook: oh no now vi will talk about it for the next 3 days

Sam Nook: why have the teacher done this

[stabby is online]

stabby: if you hate me talking about it that much you could tell me to shut up smh

Sam Nook: /j?

stabby: idk man, maybe

[private message] awesamdude → technothepig

sammie: tech are you ok?

sammie: u really dont sound like u

techie: im alright

sammie: but?

techie: but work is biting my ass, boss is looking at me weirdly, gettin more and more weird jobs

sammie: did u do something weird?

techie: except almost abandoning everything for 3 months? nothing

sammie: dont bother with the upstairs, they can do nothing

sammie: if theyd plan to even kill you (which sounds awful if u need clarification) they cant bc it will look sus

techie: they cant make me shut up in a way other than paying me off, im aware of that

sammie: good

sammie: now go back to class, love you

techie: ye ye love you too

[all hail philza minecraft] • 10.01am

Sam Nook: it was /j, to any curious people

vwoop: oof been worried that ure getting a divorce /hj

Sam Nook: naah dont worry boo :]

vwoop: :]

[daaad and da kidz] • 10.01 am

boo: HOLY COW DID SAM JUST CALL ME BOO

racoon: THEY DID

boo: daad i think im getting adopted

[daaad is online]

daaad: by whom

boo: sam

daaad: oh cool, have fun kid

[all hail philza minecraft] • 1.17 pm

kaboom: what if just

kaboom: gho/ghost/ghostself

[dancing queen is online]

dancing queen: VALID!!!

dancing queen: phantom still in use?

kaboom: for now, yes, might drop them tho

dancing queen: ok <3

kaboom: <3

[private message] sappynappy → karl jacobs uwu

sappy: can we meet today

karly: sure! i'll ask q when he's free

sappy: no i mean just two of us

sappy: i have to talk to you and only you

karly: oh ok

karly: im free after 4, you can come over if you want?

sapppy: sounds good, thank you

sappy: love you <3

karly: love you too <3

[gender is boring let's commit some crimes] • 1.25 pm

who needs gender when violence exists: im going to murder someone

gender stealer: job or just for fun

who needs gender when violence exists: yes

gender stealer: when and why

who needs gender when violence exists: some debt and she was an asshole

gender stealer: HOLY SHIT WAIT H E R

who needs gender when violence exists: y e s

gender stealer: have fun tech <3

who needs gender when violence exists: <3

[forgot my gender can we go back? is online]

forgot my gender, can we go back?: i hate eglish so much

forgot my gender, can we go back?: why cant i write in my language, its so easier

who needs gender when violence exists: because were in america boo, sometimes world just wants you to suffer

forgot my gender, can we go back?: </3