Closer Than Before | 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙙 ✅

Chapter 12: Worst Pain?

Radhika's POV:

We left the mall, and the sun was just beginning its descent, casting a warm, golden hue over everything. The breeze was cool, refreshing, and the sky had that perfect mix of blue with soft, wispy clouds.

Samar suggested going to a nearby park with a pond at its center, and I couldn’t resist the idea—it sounded peaceful, exactly what I needed.

When we arrived, the park was every bit as beautiful as he had described. Lush greenery stretched out around us, with tall trees swaying gently in the wind. There were a few couples scattered around, holding hands, laughing softly, their happiness almost palpable.

As we walked toward the pond, I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of ducks gliding across the water and a few turtles basking in the late afternoon sun.

They were adorable, and my heart swelled at the sight. I quickly snapped a few pictures, wanting to capture the moment.

We found a bench near the pond, and I sat down, letting my gaze drift over the tranquil scene. It was so serene, so calming. But I noticed Samar was unusually quiet beside me.

I turned to him, and before I could ask what was on his mind, he spoke up, his voice hesitant, almost vulnerable.

"Radhika, I wanted to talk to you."

My heart began to beat faster, a familiar mix of hope and anxiety swirling inside me. "About?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"About us," he said, and just like that, my world narrowed down to the two of us, sitting on that bench.

He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts, and I could see the struggle in his eyes. "When I saw you after two years, I…I didn’t know what to feel. I was overwhelmed. I had tried to bury everything, but seeing you, it all came rushing back. I remembered everything—every laugh, every conversation, every moment we shared. But at the same time, I was terrified. Terrified that I’d lose you again. I know I hurt you, and I regret every single word, every action that caused you pain.”

He paused, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for everything, Radhika. For the way I behaved, for the things I said that pushed you away. I never wanted to hurt you.”

His words were like a knife twisting in my chest, the pain sharp and real. He was apologizing, explaining, but all I could think about was how I had waited, how I had hoped, and how he never came.

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. "But why, Samar? Why didn’t you ever try to reach out? I waited for you. When everyone else was telling me to move on, I held on to the hope that you’d come back, that you’d talk to me. But you didn’t. Why?”

He looked at me, his eyes filled with regret. "I was blocked, Radhika."

I let out a bitter laugh, mocking him. "Yes, I blocked you. But for how long, Samar? For one week. Yaa? Seven fucking days. 10080 minutes. 604800 seconds! And after that? What stopped you?"

My voice broke, and before I knew it, I was crying. "You know what's the worst pain?"

He reached out, gently wiping the tears from my cheeks. “Radhika, please don’t cry...” his touch tender, but it only made the ache in my heart worse.

"The worst pain," I continued, my voice trembling,

"The worst pain is thinking about you when I shouldn’t be. It’s crying over you when I should have moved on. but my stupid heart still thinks about you, still wants you, and still keeps hoping. Tell me what was my mistake, Samar? That I confessed, that I fall in love with you? You should have been clear if you didn’t want more, but no, what you did you gave me mixed signals— one moment you adored me and other moment you ignored me then next second think about our future together and wait you said you felt the same and just needed time. Didn’t I give you time? And then you said I was being suffocating. Do you know what’s suffocating? Being with the person you love and not being able to express the feelings and having no rights, it is because you’re scared it’ll ruin everything. We were in a situationship, Samar—a fucking situationship where you liked me, but didn’t want to commit but also didn’t want to let me go. Is commitment too hard for you guys, huh? Answer me!"