Starting Over (A Linstead Story)

Chapter 17

Erin was surprised to say the least when she saw an incoming call on her phone from Jess Sutton. The device was on silent as she had just gotten into a tub that Jay had ran for her. The water was hot and he had used plenty of bath salts. It promised to be very relaxing – just what she needed.

As Erin settled into the water, her voicemail took the call from Jess. She wondered what it could have been about. They hadn't exchanged messages for some time, and there was nothing special that needed to be talked about. It felt like a call totally out of nowhere.

Erin wasn't sure where she stood with regard to Jess as yet. She was glad Jay had met his sister and that they got along. Also, Jess came across as a nice, honest, hard-working, good person, and seemed to want to be a good sister to Jay as well. The problem was that Erin didn't warm up to people easily, she never had. Jess had her life in such good order with her house, her successful YouTube career and now her own business that Erin felt envious. Jealous, even. Such a negative emotion. She didn't like being in that position, and nor had she liked being outshone by Jess at Kevin's fancy dress party. There was a part of her that wanted to dislike the woman. But there was a bigger part that wanted to like her.

"Stop being a bitch and call her back," she scolded herself, hating the intrusive thoughts in her head. Sometimes irrational negative thoughts about people or events were a big problem for her, in fact it was her biggest character flaw. Getting past those problems required a lot of effort. The effort was worth it for Jay, and possibly for a future friendship with Jess if she could get past her own mental roadblock.

With a new sense of determination to do exactly that, Erin returned the call. Jess answered after only a couple of rings.

"Hi, Erin."

"Hi, Jess. Everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is okay here. How are you?"

"Pretty good. You called?" Erin asked, gently encouraging Jess to get to the point.

"Oh, yeah. Yes I did. I was hoping I could run an idea by you."

"By me? Okay, I'm listening."

Jess sighed. "You're going to think I'm a moron. The thing is, I've never had much of a social life. I'm not good at that kind of thing at all. So, before I do what I'm thinking of doing I'd like to make sure I don't come across like an idiot to Jay or Kevin."

Now Erin felt even worse. She had been thinking about her nonsensical resentment and jealousy of Jess right when Jess had been trying to call her because she needed help from a friend. Or the closest she had to a friend. If there was a positive to come from that it was that it started to kick a hole in the mental roadblock.

"How can I help?" she asked.

"What I was thinking of was inviting some people to a bowling night. It would be me, you, Jay, Kevin and the woman I've hired to work for me at Bio-Clean Chicago. Her name is Raquel. We worked together for the city and she's a super nice person. She's been saying she wants to meet the brother I keep talking about."

Bowling wasn't Erin's first choice of something to do on a night out, but she knew Jay would be up for it. "You're in luck there. Jay loves bowling, and he's good at it. I suck, but it'll be a fun time. You should organise it."

"That's good to know. But that's not the problem I've got. The thing is, I'm a socially awkward person, Erin. Especially in big groups, I feel awkward and I tend to get marginalised because others find it easier to make conversation that I do. I'm boring and I don't have charisma the way some people do. I mean, look at Kevin at that party of his. He wasn't just the host, he was the soul of that party. That could never be me. What really worries me is Kevin and Jay ending up not wanting to spend time with me because I'm no fun to be around."

Bless her, Erin thought. Social anxiety was very real, she knew. It could even be crippling for some people. Having seen Jess on the night out at Hunter's as well as at Kevin's party, she felt like the self-perception Jess had of her social skills was worse than the reality. That was likely often the case with people who suffered social anxiety, she imagined.

"Jess, you'll be fine. Take it from me, Jay loves spending time with you. No doubt Kevin does too. Heck, I enjoyed the shopping trip we went on. Maybe you're setting yourself expectations that are higher than they need to be? When you go out with someone or have them over, you don't have to try to have fun or make sure you're outgoing and vibrant or whatever. Just be yourself."

"But I'm a weird person, Erin," Jess said sadly. "The way my brain works is different to most people."

"Who cares? Everyone's weird, Jess. There's no such thing as normal, and if there were? Those 'normal' people would be the boring ones. Be yourself," she repeated before deciding to add something else. "Arrange that bowling night. Jay and I will definitely come. And if you feel anxious or marginalised when we're there, you come stand or sit with me and I'll discreetly bring you back into the conversation. You'll be fine."

"Really? That's very good of you. You won't tell Jay about this?"

"Of course not. This is between us. And any time you need to talk about this kind of thing you can feel free to call me."

"Aww, thank you," Jess said, sounding relieved as well as grateful. The impression was that she badly needed a girlfriend to trust. Erin could relate to that. Maybe in time Jess could be that person.

"No problem. And maybe I might call you too. Maybe get you to help me re-decorate this place when I get around to it," she added as a joke, which was unfortunately taken seriously.

"I'd be happy to do that."

"Alright, thanks. Jess, I'd better go. Let Jay know about the bowling night?"

"I will. Talk to you soon, Erin. Thanks again."

"Sure thing. Have a good night," Erin said in a friendly manner before ending the call. She came out of it feeling a lot more positively about Jess than she had beforehand. She seemed to have herself and her life totally in order, but she was as flawed as anyone else. That made her more relatable.

With the call over with, Erin put her phone down on the floor and properly relaxed into the hot water. She hadn't felt right all day. It was hard to get comfortable even in the tub. Tiredness had been a problem, and her hormones felt like they were all over the place. Then it dawned on her why those things might be happening. Was it the first sign of being pregnant? Maybe. It was time to buy a few pregnancy tests, she decided. Only if or when she got a positive result would she tell Jay, and that could be a few weeks away yet, if they were lucky.

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A/N: We've had chapters where we've heard from Jay and from Kevin. I wanted one where we heard from Erin. Do you think she might be able to get close to Jess in time? And might she be pregnant.

After this chapter, Jess is the only main character we've not heard from. Would you like to see that in the future? Let me know in the comments.