Starting Over (A Linstead Story)

Chapter 20

"Okay, go chase it down," Voight said, responding to a lead Kevin had on the Intelligence team's current case.

"Jay?" Kevin said, requesting his partnership on the assignment.

"Let's do it," he said, getting up from his desk.

They made their way out to Kevin's car. Jay waited that long to enquire as to why he had been requested. It seemed fairly obvious to him that Kevin had a motive other than the job Voight had tasked them with.

"Everything okay with you?" he asked once they were on the road.

"Yes, everything's good," Kevin said from the driver's seat. "I wanted a chance to talk to you about Jess."

That was no surprise to Jay. He waited for this friend to continue.

"When we went bowling a couple of nights back, I went back to her place afterwards."

Grimacing, Jay cut in. "Are you sure I need to hear this?"

"Let me speak, man. Please?"

"Alright, sorry. Go ahead."

Kevin took a breath and started again. "It's not what you're apparently thinking. We went back to her place, had coffee and talked. At one point she suddenly told me how happy she is when she spends time with me, and with you. Then she burst into tears, saying when her mom died she thought she would never be happy again. I held her and calmed her down, and that was what she needed, I think. The grief is coming out now, and we both need to help her. That's why I'm telling you."

Jay was hurting inside for his sister, and feeling annoyed with himself because of his reaction to Kevin. He was a good man, trying to do the right thing.

"Again, sorry for how I am about you and Jess. I'm trying to get used to you guys being in a relationship. It's not easy. Thank you for telling me what happened. I was saying to Erin not long ago that I thought Jess's grief was starting to come through. Now we know it is. It's up to you and me to be there for her, as you said."

"Totally. There's something else I want to say, even though I'm not sure how you'll take it," Kevin said, glancing at him for a second.

Jay braced himself. "Go on."

"When I was holding her and comforting her, I had one of the most powerful moments of my life. It's hard to explain other than to say an overwhelming wish that I could take all the pain from her and suffer it myself instead. I think I'm in love with her, Jay. There's no other way to put it. And yes, I know it ought to be too soon to feel that, but I do feel it."

It was a striking moment for Jay. There was something about the way Kevin said he thought he was in love with Jess that conveyed he would never do anything to hurt her in any way. Although deep down Jay had known that already because he knew the man's character, he was now convinced of it.

"And how does Jess feel?" he asked.

"I don't know. It's not a conversation we've had. At this stage it's too soon to tell her I think I'm in love with her. I'm telling you because I need to get it off my chest to a friend. The fact you're also her brother isn't ideal," he added with a laugh.

Jay laughed also. "It is a difficult situation. But seriously, thank you for being there for her. Although we've not known each other long, Jess means a lot to me. She's got a heart of gold and she deserves to be happy. Between us, we'll do our best, right?"

"Right," Kevin said, and they bumped fists.

Jay tried to turn his mind to back to work. They were on the clock after all. But he couldn't help smiling to himself because mentally he had just taken a big step towards accepting Jess and Kevin being in a relationship.