The Price We Pay

Chapter 41

I left the prison during the next change in shifts. New officers came in and took our positions, leaving the rest of the Nazi's to, what I assumed, would be their lunch break. I blinked several times as I stepped out of the prison, re-adjusting my eyes from the dark prison to the sunny day outside. As discreetly as possible, I made my way through the gate and settled back behind the bush. Having two layers of clothes was proving to be extremely uncomfortable, especially in this heat. However, as much as it pained me to do, I chose to leave it on until we got further from the prison.

A tear that I had been holding back for many hours finally rolled down my cheek. "I'm so sorry Adri." I whispered. I buried my face into my backpack, blinking back tears. All this had been for nothing. I should've stayed back at the house with Irene that day. I should've been there when the Nazi's had come.

"I'm sorry Ada." My head shot up and I quickly wiped the tears from my face. "Peter," I stuttered, "I didn't hear you get here." His expression was somber, I cut him off before he could tell me what I already knew, "I know. They're gone now."

I jumped to my feet, flinging my backpack onto my shoulder as I moved deeper into the trees away from the prison.

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Besides our occasional rest breaks, we didn't stop until the sun had lazily sunk behind the horizon. We were only a few minutes away from the place Peter and I had stolen the car from. We decided it was best to not be openly walking the streets after curfew, especially since we were probably now on Lodz most wanted list.

I dropped my bag down by a large tree, letting the contents rattle inside. The walk had done no good in calming both my nerves and my bubbling anger. In fact, quite the opposite. Every part of me felt like it needed to be running, moving, fidgeting-- " Peter cleared his throat, I flipped around, he clutched his bag to his body, "It's going to be okay." He said.

His confidence annoyed me. "Okay? Does anything look okay?" I gritted my teeth, "My two best friends are dead--if not--dying in a Nazi camp! And you're telling me it'll be okay?"

I kicked my bag, but the pain only served to make me angrier. I bent down and unzipped the bag, tearing the contents out from within. I threw the cans at the ground and surrounding trees. A few of them burst open, spewing beans all over the trees and grass around us.

Once I ran out of cans, I threw the bag, letting it hit the tree with a satisfying thud.

"This was all for nothing!" I cried. "I risked both our lives...and for what? A couple of bruises and bad news?" My knees gave out and I crumpled to the ground, my face buried in my hands as I sobbed. The air around me was tense, as though the night seemed to brace for more.

Years of invisible pain ran down my face. I cried for my mother, the memory of her on the streets, doing everything in her power so we could survive.

I cried for Adri, I had no idea where she was, and last I knew, there was still a bullet in her leg.

I had no more family, no more friends, no more resistance.

"You win. You officially broke me." I muttered to the universe, "Happy?"

My head was pounding, but I kept crying, letting the warm tears rush down my cheeks.

Maybe if I had saved that girl from the prison, maybe if she had come with me I would have a reason to live, a reason to keep fighting.

The cold presence of loneliness surrounded me. Wrapping its cruel arms around my broken body.

This whole time I thought I had been running from the Nazis. From death.