ACOTAR one shots, imagines and short stories

*Torn Between Love and Fate - Azriel's Year - (Azriel x OC) - Part 4*

Word count: 7499

Characters: Azriel and OC

Warnings: Angst and mature themes 18+

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In the immediate aftermath of their separation, Azriel was engulfed by a grief so profound that it threatened to swallow him whole. The absence of Elara created a void in his life that nothing seemed capable of filling, a hollow ache that clung to him like a shadow. Every waking moment was consumed by the relentless pain of missing her, and it was as though the world had dimmed, the colours faded to a dull grey without her presence to brighten his days.

Elara had been his anchor, the one who had given him hope when he had believed there was none left. Her absence was a wound that refused to heal, a constant reminder of the love he had lost. Azriel found himself haunted by memories of their time together—her laughter, her touch, the way she had looked at him with such unwavering belief in their future. These memories, once a source of comfort, now served only to deepen his sorrow, leaving him adrift in a sea of grief that threatened to pull him under.

Nights were the worst. When the world grew quiet and there was nothing to distract him, Azriel would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, his mind tortured by the relentless ache of her absence. The bed felt too large, too empty without her beside him, and the silence of the night only amplified the void she had left behind. He missed her so intensely that it felt like a physical pain, a sharp, unyielding ache in his chest that made it hard to breathe. Every breath he took seemed to hurt, as if the very act of living without her was too much for his body to bear.

His friends began to notice the change in him, the way he had become a shadow of the man he once was. They watched him with concern, their worry growing with each passing day as they saw him withdraw further into himself. Azriel had always been strong, always the one to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but now it seemed as though the weight of his own grief was too much for him to bear. They tried to reach out to him, to pull him back from the edge of the abyss that he seemed so dangerously close to falling into, but he was distant, unreachable, lost in a world of pain that they couldn't penetrate.

"Azriel," Rhysand had said one evening, his voice filled with quiet concern as he found Azriel sitting alone in the darkened study, staring at the fire that had long since burned down to embers. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Elara wouldn't want you to suffer like this."

Azriel didn't look up, his eyes fixed on the dying flames. "I don't know how to live without her," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. "It's like... there's this void inside me, Rhys. I can feel it, gnawing away at everything that used to make sense. I wake up and... she's not there. Every morning, I have to remember all over again that she's gone. And every time, it feels like I'm being ripped apart."

Azriel looked down, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of his grief was too much to bear. "I just... I don't know how to keep going," he whispered, his voice breaking.

Rhysand placed a hand on Azriel's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "One day at a time, Az. One step at a time. You don't have to do this alone. Just... let us help you," he said softly.

But Azriel didn't know how to let them in. The pain was too raw, too consuming, and he was afraid that if he let them see how deeply he was hurting, it would break him even more. So he kept his distance, pushing away the people who cared about him the most, retreating further into his grief until it was all that he knew.

The promise he had made to Elara—to explore the bond with Seren—felt like an impossible burden. Every time he thought about Seren, guilt surged within him, so powerful it made him feel physically ill. The very idea of moving forward, of connecting with someone new, felt like a betrayal to the love he had shared with Elara. And so, despite the promise, he did nothing. He couldn't bring himself to face Seren, to acknowledge the bond that tethered them together. Instead, he avoided her, avoided anything that might make him confront the reality of his situation.