Keira's Life

Keira: Chapter 21

I slowly opened my eyes and my throat felt dry, it hurt to swallow and my head was hurting. I closed my eyes again and waited a while for it to adjust to the bright lights in the plain white room. I opened them again and blinked hard, looking around my eyes stopped once I saw Ricardo asleep in the chair beside my bed and my auntie asleep on the sofa. Sarah was sitting in another chair asleep and I looked around, slightly confused. I had a needle placed into the back of my hand and it was taped to my skin, I followed the tube with my eyes and it was attached to a clear bag which was next to my bed. I tried moving onto my back but the pain was unbearable and I groaned in pain.

Ricardo's eyes opened and he looked concerned, he stood up and helped me roll over onto my side. My whole body was too weak to move on its own. I looked straight into his eyes and it hit me hard, all the love I had for him made me realise what I'd done. Everything I'd put him through although I didn't do it on purpose. I realised how much he cared, loved me, wanted to look after me but at the same time how tired he was of it all.

'I'm sorry-' I croaked.

'Shh, just rest. You have to stay here for a little while, they're gonna give you this really strong medication to help with your moodswings. You have to attend counselling too at least three times a week and get regular blood tests.' I blinked hard, I had to do all of that? I knew exactly what medication he was speaking about, my old counsiller had warned me that if I got any worse they'd have to put me on that.

'They don't think your stable, mentally, to let you out for at least another week.' I looked towards the floor because I knew I wasn't. I was disappointed when I woke back up that's how I knew something was wrong with me, I thought... maybe I'd died? Maybe I wouldn't have to be ill any longer and receive weird stares from people at school. Maybe I wouldn't have to wake up everyday not knowing what weird thing I'd do, what I'd say and who I'd hurt. I wake up everyday feeling different, happy or sad, depressed or on a high. It was like mind fuck, I didn't know what the outcome would be when I woke up everyday. I knew who was the cause for this and everytime my eyes closed I saw his face, taunting me, whispering things in my ear and making me feel dirty and sick.

'Keira, you're going to get better babe I promise you, you can overcome this if you try yourself we can't all do the work for you.'

'But I can't control how I feel Ricardo, it's like I'm a completely different person sometimes... I just want it all to go away and Rhianne to be back.' He sighed and lifted my hand, he kissed it and smiled at me warmly.

'I can't do anything about Rhianne, she's in a better place, she doesn't have to suffer anymore Keira.'

'It sounds selfish but I need her-'

'You need to try yourself baby.' I nodded and he smiled, he kissed me on my cheek and stood up putting his hat on and pulling up his hood.

'I've gotta go pick up my sister, mum's at work. I'll come back if you want?' I shook my head slowly.

'Don't come and visit me until I leave here.' I said and he frowned.

'What? So you don't want to see me?'

'I do but it will be better for me to try on my own, I want you to see me healthy... I nearly died Ricardo.'

'I know, I wanna be here to help you though-'

'I've got the doctors Rics, I'll call you when I'm leaving hospital.' He nodded slowly sighing, he kissed me before he left and I rested my head back on the pillow. I felt weak after a while of sitting up, my joints were all achy. My auntie and Sarah soon woke up and saw me awake, they both grinned and the doctor walked in the room.

'Keira! Aren't you a strong one, you don't understand how close we were to losing you.' He said and I nodded.

'We're just going to do a few blood tests and then start your treatment alright love? So sit back and a nurse will be with you shortly, any questions?'