Keira's Life

Keira: Chapter 13

"Keira, wake up it's time to get ready for court." My auntie said, I was already awake. I didn't sleep once for the whole night. How could I? I couldn't stop thinking about going to court. My back was facing her and I was staring at the wall, I knew I had to go court and that was all I could think about. What would happen? I couldn't sleep properly thinking of Trevor and what he did to me was enough to keep me awake. I could almost feel his touch on my skin and it made me want to be sick. She left the room and I sat up in bed, my phone vibrated on the side and I saw a text from Ricardo.

I remembered it was ur court date 2day, i could cum if u want nd support u, holla bak tho Key x

I smiled and text him back the time I'd go there telling him to meet me there, I got out of bed and stretched. What did I actually have to wear? I picked out black trousers and a white frilly top which tucked into my trousers and black flats. I wrapped my towel around me and went to go and shower. I brushed my teeth and tied my hair into a ponytail whilst I creamed and got dressed. I brushed my hair out and pushed it back with a black alice band. I sprayed, put my studs in and went downstairs, taking my phone and shoes with me. My auntie was already dressed and waiting for me.

"I'll be in the car, take your tablets." I nodded and went into the kitchen to take one, I washed it down with water and put my shoes on. It felt weird... by the thime I came back home Trevor would have either been sentenced or released. If he was released, would he come back? I took a deep breath and walked outside closing the front door behind me. I got into the car and my auntie gave me a warm smile, starting the car, she drove off in silence.

"I was thinking, maybe we should stop by at Rhi's grave and put some new flowers there, tidy it up a bit." I nodded, not fully concentrating on what she was saying. I was thinking of what the judge would say, what would happen to me after this whole ordeal.

"Keira, don't think about it-"

"How can I NOT think about it? I have to look at him, face to face! You're telling me not to worry? I feel disgusted. The WHOLE courtroom will know what he did to me, you have no idea what it feels like." I said and she sighed.

"I'm so sorry, I really wish I'd seen something sooner. I was too caught up in-"

"Stop bringing it back to yourself, it's ME who was raped. I have to deal with this." She nodded and we arrived at the court. My stomach was churning and my throat dry. I had to toughen up, I needed to get through this. I just couldn't get over what had happened. I felt my auntie's hand squeeze mine and she gave me a reassuring smile, I didn't feel that way on the inside. Why couldn't someone else have to go through all of this? Why did it have to be me that suffered, and no-one else felt how much pain I was in?

We walked through the halls to the lift and took it up four floors, we got out and had to be searched before entering the court room. They said it was just procedure, but it sure didn't feel like it. I felt like I was in the wrong. We had to sit down outside the courtroom and wait until we were called in, an hour went by and then two and we were still sitting there. I hung my head down and tears trailed down my cheeks.

"I can't do this..." I said quietly, loud enough for my auntie to hear and put her arm around me.

"Keira, what did you just say love ?"

"I said, I can't do this! This whole thing it's too much pressure... I can't do this, please can we go? Please?" I begged her, and her eyes just simply teared up and she slowly shook her head.

"We need to do this, put an end to it all."

"AN END? YOU THINK THIS WILL END EVERYTHING? YOU THINK I'LL BE OKAY AFTER THIS?! THIS MAN RUINED MY LIFE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!" I shouted standing up, how could she just think him being sentenced would end everything? It wouldn't. It could never put an end to how much he'd ruined me, destroyed my self confidence and took away my dignity. That didn't seem to matter, to her the only thing that would end was the shame. Her shame. It didn't matter how I felt, or the fact it was involving me; as long as SHE wasn't shamed things would be okay right? I wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my jacket and walked down the end of the corridor. I couldn't go into that courtroom and face everyone; it was too much and it was such an early stage. I could feel my chest tightening as I began to panic and become short on breath, I tried taking deep breaths but it only seemed to make me feel worse.