Chapter 4 ~ Saviour
“Hey, it´s cold outside and I don´t want that you´re alone on the street.”, a familiar voice whispers that words into my ear. Then Andy suddenly appears beside me on the footpath.
“I´m sorry that I left you there. I just over reacted.”, I sigh and look at him, while tears a rolling down my face.
“Don´t say sorry. It´s fine. I mean there´s a reason why you had over reacted, Nina.”
He put his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. I lay down my head on his shoulder and inhale his smell.
“I never thought that I´ll ever sit here and talk to you, Andy. That´s the reason. You´re the person, who gives me power, you´re my hero my saviour. You´re the reason why I am still alive.”, I start to explain my feelings to him and begin to cry.
Andy´s just looking shocked at me and wipes my tears away. Then he hugs me tightly and he doesn´t say any word. The silent says more than 1000 words. I´m laying in his arms and cry silently. But it feels good. It feels good to let it all out.
“I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark
But now I know my wounds are sewn
Because of who you are
I will take this burden on and become the holy one
But remember I am human
And I´m bound to sing this song
So hear my voice remind you not bleed.
I am here a Saviour
Will be there
When you are feeling alone, oh a Saviour for all that you do
So live freely without their harm”
Andy really started to sing. He sang it for me. His voice, I can´t describe it. I´m feeling calm, but my heart, it´s beating very fast.
“Are you feeling better, love?”, he whispers. I nod and look at him. He wipes my last tears away and I can see that he´s worried. Probably worried about me.
“Would you tell me what happened?”, he asks carefully. Then I start to tell him my story, my feelings, my thoughts, everything. He listens to me. I think another person never listened to me like Andy does right now. I feel that I can trust him.
After I told him what´s going on in my life, he hugs me so tight that I´ve the feeling he never would let me go.
“It´s lake. I´ll take you home.”, he says and helps me to stand up.
“Wait, I go to pay the cokes and tell Chan and Ash that we´re going.”, he tells me. I nod and he goes inside the bar. I´m standing here alone, on the street, in the darkness and wait for him What are Chan and Ashley going to do tonight? This thought make me smile a bit. I don´t know how much time passed after Andy went inside, but I can see him coming. I still wear his good smelling leather jacket. It holds me warm.
“Can we go?”, he asks when he arrives and stands in front of me. His eyes are full of sorrow. I nod, he grabs my hand carefully and we´re walking away.
On the way home I just tell him my adress and then we aren´t talking any word to each other. I think it´s better no to speak.
We´re entering my apartment and I can see and hear that there´s someone watching TV in the living room. I go inside with Andy behind me and look at my Mum, who seems to be angry.
“Where have you been so long?”, she yells at me.
“I´m sorry, it was my fault, Mrs.-”, Andy tries to explain but I interrupt him before he can finish the sentence.
“No! She never cared about me before, why she have to take care about me now?”, I shout. I don´t care that the other part of my family is sleeping. I squeeze Andy´s hand a bit and Mum and him seems to be shocked.
“Who is he?”, my Mum asks angryly. I roll my eyes at her and sigh loudly.
“That is Andy Biersack! The vocalist of the Black Veil Brides!”
“That fag, you do adore?”, she asks.
“He´s not a fag!”, I burst into tears. “I hate you!”, I scream at my Mum and run into my room.
Why is never accepting me for what I´m doing? I hate my life! I just want to die. I lay down on my bed and cray into my pillow. I left Andy again there. I´m always ruining everything. Why am I still alive?
Someone knocks on the door.
“What?!”, I yell cryfully and look to the door, where Andy is coming in. He sits down beside me and start to caress my back and tries to make me calm. It seems to work.
“Nina, everything is gonna be alright, I promise you.”, Andy says and takes his hand on my head.
“It won´t!”, I cry again. He wipes my tears away. I can feel my body shaking. It hurts that Andy had to see that.
“Can you please stay here for the night?”, I whisper with no power in my voice. And nods, takes off his boots and pants and lays down beside me. I look at him with tears in my eyes.
“I won´t leave you tonight, Nina. Please try to sleep”, he whispers and gives me a kiss to my forehead.
I close my eyes and Andy cuddles my till I fall asleep.
“When I hear your cries
Praying for light
I will be there
I always will be there”
