Guidebook ↠ Shawn Mendes

Chapter 8: A Little Bit of Love (Or Not)

Song: Photograph-Ed Sheeran

Step 3: If for some reason (examples include: moving away, life threatening disease, or criminal imprisonment), you and said girl go separate ways, be sure to kiss her right before you/she leaves.

That way, she'll have to find you again.

One way or another.

*Two Months Later*

Hair? Check. Makeup? Check. Dress? Check. Uncomfortable High Heels that could also be used as maiming weapons?

Unfortunately, check.

My chest tightens. This is the last time I'm going to see a lot of these people. By next week, I'll be in California doing God knows what with someone from another branch of Sophia's mom's company.

Wait, that sounds wrong. Never mind.

How did everything change so fast? When I look back on the last few months, it seems like the blink of an eye.

My palms feel sweaty, my knees are weak, my arms feel heavy. I could literally be an Eminem song. Maybe one day I'll meet him if this whole singing thing works out.

I can barely believe it. I'd slap myself to make sure this isn't a dream but I'd probably ruin my makeup and piss off my mom. She's only agreeing to this whole me moving to California thing because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Also because Sophia's mom assured her that someone would be watching (stalking) and taking care of me at all times.

This party is for me. I have to go out there, no matter how nervous, how scared I am. I have to say good-bye.

Oh god, the good-byes. I don't know how I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not just leaving my mom. I'm leaving my best friends, my home, and well...

Shawn.

"Pull yourself together London." I command. "You can do this. You'll visit, you guys are going to text, it's going to be okay."

It's probably not going to be. Sarah, the woman that's going to manage me in L.A. per Sophia's mom's orders, told me that I'd be crazy busy for a long time. People were going to have to come to me, not the other way around. That wouldn't be a problem for my mom but for Shawn, who'd be occupied with school...

He has holidays right?

I had to tell myself everything would be fine. If I didn't, I don't think I could leave.

"London?" Sarah enters my little room where I'm talking to myself. "Are you ready? The party is just getting in swing."

I take a deep breath and nod. I can do this. Good-bye. It's just two words! And one of them is good. The other is bye. Buy? Buying things is fun. So good-bye is pretty much just good fun, right?

I overthink when I'm nervous if you haven't already noticed.

Luckily, I don't have to go on stage yet. For right now, I just circle around the room, hugging people (some who I don't even recognize) and accept their congratulations. A few of my friends have already bumped into me but there's no sign of Sophia, my mom, or Shawn.

People are dancing, talking, and laughing. It seems like I'm the only one who's not having fun. Wait, no. I'm having fun. I should be having fun.

You're having fun London, keep it together.

I try to listen to the little voice in my head.

Stop talking to yourself while you're at it.