Guidebook ↠ Shawn Mendes

Chapter 20: Can't Keep It

Shawn

"Thanks for meeting up with me for breakfast." I tell London trying to keep that dopey little smile from reaching my face. 

"No problem." She doesn't meet my eyes. Considering she's focusing on the ginormous waffle in front of her instead, I don't make much of it. "We're dating after all. You're my boyfriend. This is a girlfriend-boyfriend kind of thing to do. You know, because I'm your girlfriend."

"Are you okay?" I scrunch up my eyebrows in confusion. She seems tense. "You look a little-"

"I'm fine." London interrupts, immediately relaxing. "Just a little nervous about this new pitch for my upcoming album."

Unlike me, London had already released an EP. Sometimes I forgot that she was more famous than me and already one step ahead. Not that I was jealous or anything.

"You'll do great. You always do. Win them over with that charisma of yours." I reach out and put my hand on hers. She stares at it for a few moments before pulling away slightly. I try not to let the hurt reach my face. 

"Sorry," she mutters hesitantly. "But we probably should save that for when we're really ready to go public. Someone could take a picture of us and it wouldn't be easy to deny anything."

"It's not like I kissed you or anything." I scoff. "Friends can hold hands."

"Sure." She laughs. "And friends can kiss and friends can have sex and they can-"

"Stop it!" I raise my hands in surrender. "Don't ruin my innocent mind! Gah!" London cracks up again in response which makes me feel pleased. "But really, you don't think that do you?" I ask tentatively, wondering our past and how I kissed her once upon a time.

London looks away for a moment in hesitation. "No. I was just joking. I mean, maybe, if you're really lucky, but usually if you kiss a friend, it's not the same again. Either that or you're not just friends." She laughs nervously at the end.

"Oh. Okay." 

Her eyes widen and she looks up at me. "Oh gosh! No! I wasn't thinking about us! We're not, I mean, that wasn't what I was talking about. That was so long ago. And besides that kiss was just spur of the moment, you didn't mean anything by it. You made that really clear. Don't. Worry." She laughs awkwardly again. "We're the lucky ones Shawn."

"So that means we're friends right?" I force myself to not put a 'just' in front of the 'friends' because I don't want to embarrass myself anymore.

Another long pause.

London finally opens her mouth to respond just as her phone goes off. Saved by the default Apple ringtone, I think as she hurries to answer it.

"Hello?" London responds. "Yes, Sarah, I'll be there! No, I'm just at breakfast. No! With Shawn!" She looks up at me and gives me a nervous smile. "Don't worry about it Sarah. I actually planned out my schedule this morning for once. I don't have to leave until..." she checks the time and her eyes widen again, "ten minutes ago! Oh geez!" She frantically pushes her chair back and stands up. "Listen, I'm leaving now, I'll call you later." As London hangs up, I can still hear Sarah yammering through the phone. "Wipe the smirk off your face Mendes." London rolls her eyes playfully. "I'm sorry I have to cut this short." 

"No problem. I get it. Duty calls." 

"I'll text you later okay?" London promises as she slings on her bag. 

"Yeah. Dinner?"

"Sorry, I have plans." She smiles apologetically. "We can hang out tomorrow just the two of us. Tomorrow will be less confusing."