In His Custody ✎ (MaNan)

✰ 44 - isotopes

Can you guess the wordplay in the chapter name? ;) I've split what I planned for this chapter into two updates because it's nearly 5000 words long and I'm not even finished with the last scene for the sequence (I guess that just means more MaNan and nobody's complaining hai na?) :D

Don't forget to sprinkle in your thoughts! Love you my readers! <3

Word count: 3342 (without author notes :P)

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Nandini

Rishabh had made two friends after the orientation programme, Yuvan and Latika, who lived in the hostel and invited him to join them for the afterparty within the college. It was my first glimpse into watching him start a new chapter in his life, his first steps into independence. When he looked at us eagerly, unsure whether or not to accept the offer, an invitation was extended to Mukti, Abhi, and me, which we politely declined.

It was Rishabh's day, his chance to embrace everything college life had to offer, the opportunity to experience a life TV shows and movies showed us to be the best phase of life.

A life I struggled to welcome with open arms because I was numb, completely and utterly worthless in my feelings for a boy from my past.

The car ride back was agonising. We all squeezed into our neighbor's car, which Abhi had borrowed for the night. With each passing kilometre, I found myself irrationally tearing up, overwhelmed by the ache of missing my baby brother. But it wasn't just that.

Realising Rishu was growing up and moving on was one thing, but being blatantly accused by the man I loved and the pain of admitting he had so easily moved on, while accusing me of being the sole cause of our problems was soul-crushing.As we passed a flyover, I couldn't help but replay his claims.

How was I the one to blame for everything that went wrong?

Manik had insinuated that I had betrayed his trust. His words stung, but perhaps I had exposed parts of him he wanted to keep hidden, and maybe he did feel let down by me for that. But wasn't that all after we broke up? What about the things he did to me while we were together? The countless times he abandoned me when things got complicated, or clung desperately when I was finally ready to walk away?

Today was a prime example of the power imbalance between us. Manik had blamed everything from our past on me, taking no responsibility as if I was the only one in the relationship. When I stood up for myself, explaining that I had 'broken' his trust only after he had shattered me, he had cornered me and touched me.

How could he touch me like that, like I meant something to him? And I had let him. I shivered, sick to the stomach at the thought. As far as I knew, his social media profiles were linked to another woman—the one he had moved on with. She was everything I was not: tall, determined, headstrong, and practically a successful supermodel.

The places his hands had touched seemed to burn, and fresh tears streamed down my face, at my inability to hold back and resist him despite knowing better.

Clearly, I gave him room to take control over me once again. It was me – my disgusting, pathetic self – that encouraged him to handle me as he pleased. Because I was too weak to stop it. No, even those words seemed inadequate to describe my revulsion towards myself for longing for his warmth all these years.

No wonder he never chose me; why would he pick a coward who couldn't even stand up for herself?

Mukti noticed me wiping my cheeks repeatedly while staring out of the windshield from the middle seat, but she didn't question it, seeing the same flickers of dullness on Abhimanyu's face.