In His Custody ✎ (MaNan)

✰ 19 - pray with me

S5 is literally releasing in less than 2 weeks, my dil goes "hmmm..." Haaye! I'm going to have more motivation, more scenes... hehe! Bohot zyaada emotional hone wala hai lagta hai, but I'm so fucking down for it! :P

⭒

Manik

It had been just around 10 days since we had left Manchester, a city I had spent over the last five years of my life in. Four more weeks, and everything would be how it once was. Everything.

I pulled my hair back with a windy headband and seated myself on my bed with the guitar in my lap. The stickers that once marked our school band, and the stickers that were slapped on to imply certain jokes were now worn out, peeled and destroyed just like the friendship that wove us. 

"Hey Manik, you have a house here in Mumbai, how come you aren't staying there?" Bill asked, turning the TV on as he plopped on his bed.

I strummed my guitar once, turned to him and paused in my sentence. Was it worth explaining years of backstory to this man I merely work with?

"Home is where your people are, I don't have any of them left,"

"You gotta cheer up man, this heartbroken hero vibe goes really well with the singer 'you', not the real 'you'," I am not heartbroken. I just don't get that unconditional blanket of compassion for my actions anymore.

I don't feel understood. I don't feel liberated.

I don't know who I am anymore. 

"I mean, there's got to be something else to life, someone else for whom you wake up every morning," He said, while searching for Star Sports, his go-to channel for the past two weeks here.

"I have nobody of that sort," I said, tuning my guitar another time before stroking it.

It was true, I found it exhausting talking about my past with anyone, even those who were once friends. I no longer confided in them. And everyone, no matter how broken they are, wants someone to talk to. Khulke, at some point in their lives.

With her, I did. How... how did Nandini know things nobody else knew? While Dhruv was fighting his troubles, when I had my share of drama, Mukti, Navya... how did she know exactly what everyone was going through? At least I never had affectionate parents, I never knew what it felt like, but she... she had that love, had that carem and then lost them midway through her childhood. How was she still so pure, always there for everyone when they needed her the most?

Main khudse... gham sa gaya hoon

Shayad main tujh mein mil jaaunga

What about when she needed someone?

What about when you dumped her, Manik? Whom did she have by her side? 

"Then you should come clubbing with us, I banged a chick from Bang-alore yesterday, we'll set you up with someone too," Bangalore, it struck a chord. I dropped my pick. The blood in my veins boiled. It can't be her, it can't be her...

My fingers pulled on the strings, pressed on the chords more forcibly than usual. All until I felt quick, sharp, stinging, numbing pain; it spread from the tips of my fingers, enveloped my arms, and settled in my chest as I welcomed it serenely with closed eyes.

Wow Manik, chodd toh aise aasaani se diya, but just the thought of her with someone else triggers you so much!

My eyes flashed open, somewhat stinging. I blinked rapidly, forcing random objects into my vision to keep a steady head. Smoke. I needed a smoke.