In His Custody ✎ (MaNan)

✰ 14 - promise me no promises

Alia

Lined in streaks were clouds of storm and smoke, mixed to intoxicate the soberest souls. Our group was never sober here. The calmness following familiar splashing of waves against the cool rock, we welcomed. "It's been what... eight years since we came here together?" My legs were literally craning because of the five-inch stilettoes that weren't apt for walking on Mumbai's streets at all. I hurried to the edge of the ledge and plopped to unbuckle those bad boys.

"Somewhat..." Manik retorted from a distance, with his hands shoved into his pockets.

"What do you mean somewhat?" Manik, I, Cabir and then Dhruv sat in a line together facing the sea. Manik threw a tiny rock into the wild waters, and then sprawled his arms back to take in the warmth. "The last we came here was when Harshad and Mukti broke up. Do you remember... that night..."

Manik's head bobbed from the greyish tides to me, "Abhimanyu confessed his feelings for you."

Cabir, who was texting until then, put his phone down. "Actually what happened to you two?"

"We hooked up. Twice. That was before he realised Mukti is his endgame." Abhimanyu was my first hope after Manik. Pivoting towards Manik didn't work as he always only saw me as a friend. With Abhimanyu, I didn't wait that long to make a move. "He was into Mukti for the longest time I knew, a few years lesser than me with Manik. That's why we clicked in the first place. Two friends deprived of an opportunity to love," Cabir pulled me in for a comforting side hug.

"I'm sorry Manik, you don't have to be guilty... I–" Manik signalled no change in his emotions, he was always indifferent to my feelings for him. Perhaps it was because I was just a friend–and he never wanted it to go past that. To each, their own. "Well... let's just say I fucked things up myself." Cabir still embraced me; a good boyfriend he was.

One thing I loved about Cabir's hugs were that they were warm and wholesome. "It's okay. I've grown into a much more independent woman since. I don't need a man anymore."

"Then what about Varun? I swear if you ditch him, he will literally cry in coding languages." Cabir joked, earning a few nudges from me and smiles from the boys.

"He's a software developer," I added to aid Manik's understanding, which he was all smiles for while kissing a gold-rimmed cigarette.

Mukti was usually the inclusive one, tying everyone together as a group. She was obsessed with forming a group, and she came up with countless names before we had to settle with Fab 5, a silly name with an inside joke since childhood. "What about you Manik? Do you have someone?" I tucked my hair behind my ear, hoping for a positive response.

"Diyah. Yeah, I know her since uni. She's my type." Cabir choked on his breath.

"Yeah! Totally." Cabir grabbed a canned beer from Dhruv's coat and popped it open for himself, tossing the hook into the sea. "See, Manik was and will never be the man to pursue girls for himself."

"That's... true." Not true, I intended to say, but he would deny. His relationship with Nandini was nothing conventional. To date, he would refuse to call it a relationship, while that girl was madly in love with the smallest of things. "I'm glad you came here, Manik... with us,"

"I haven't forgiven." He mumbled, before sweeping the tube out and blowing smooth clouds into the sky. Back in school, he could shoot rings too, I wondered if he could now. His gaze fixated at the horizon, seeking a remote island he could disappear into. He was strained, burdened by something. I knew him enough to tell.

As if justifying my thoughts, he exhaled, "I just needed a break." He brought his hands, with the cigar between his right forefingers, to his lap wiggling those empty fingers thoughtfully. Without a thought, my right hand firmly gripped his left forearm. He threw his head back in a jolt, whiffing the last bits of smog to the moon above his head.