The Only Star Of My Sky 💫

The beginning of agony

As I entered high school, I found that the pond I cherished in my village was gone, along with the familiar faces. My father had enrolled me in an all-boys high school, believing that it would help me stay focused hoping to shield me from distraction - specially, girls. However, he overlooked a crucial detail-I wasn't particularly attracted to girls. At 14, while my friends eagerly discussed their crushes, I felt indifferent, convinced that I simply hadn't met my "better half" yet.

Our village is steeped in conservative traditions, where strict gender roles dictate behavior. Men are expected to love women, and vice versa. I understood and accepted these norms, even if they felt stifling.

Then, one day, I saw him. Being new and lacking confidence, I struggled to make friends. I threw myself into my studies, hoping that excelling academically would win back my father's affection. Despite having parents, I felt like an orphan. They were physically present but emotionally distant.

My father's disdain for me grew over time, he even started physical abuse. My mother, once a source of support, had withdrawn entirely, leaving me to face this turmoil alone. To my parents, I seemed like a burden-an obstacle to their expectations and desires. As a result, I felt increasingly isolated, my longing for acceptance and love growing more intense with each passing day.

As I arrived at my new school, rushing toward the library, my breath caught in my throat when I passed the soccer field. There, on the field, was the most handsome boy I had ever seen. I couldn't move my eyes away from him; it felt as though the world around me had faded, and my heart was pounding loudly in my chest.

Before I could react, a sharp pain struck my face, and everything went black.

When I regained consciousness, I found myself in the nurse's office with two boys beside me. Disoriented, I asked, "Who are you guys? Where am I?"

One of them said, "It looks like the ball hit you pretty hard. We're in the nurse's office. Are you feeling okay?"

"Hi! You must be new here. I'm Red, and this is Lak," the other boy introduced himself.

"Hi! Nice to meet you both. Thank you for helping me."

"No problem. Let's get you back to class," Red suggested.

Red and Lak soon became my friends.

"Hey Dunk, do you play soccer? Want to join our team?" Red asked.

"Sure, why not?"

After joining the soccer team, I discovered that the handsome boy I had admired was our senior, Bear. Each day, my attraction to him grew stronger, and I found it increasingly difficult to keep my eyes off him. Butterflies danced in my stomach whenever he was near.

But then doubts began to creep in. Was it wrong to feel this way about a man? Was something wrong with me? How could a man be attracted to another man? These thoughts troubled me deeply.

I sometimes caught Bear glancing at me with a smirk, as if he knew I stared at him. Occasionally, when we were alone, he'd show off his body, like when he poured water over his perfectly sculpted physique. I couldn't help but be captivated; he looked even more attractive, and my cheeks would flush red with embarrassment. I had to leave the locker room quickly to escape the overwhelming feelings.

After the final match, as I was changing in the locker room, I suddenly felt a hand grab me. I looked up, startled, and saw it was Bear.

I tried to pull away, but his grip only tightened.

"Don't ignore me, Dunk. I know how you look at me, how you want me."

"What are you talking about, Bear?" I stammered.

"Dunk, please don't play dumb. I see the way you look at me. I like you, too. I can't keep this in anymore. I want you to be my boyfriend. You're so beautiful, Dunk, so special to me."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. Was Bear really confessing his feelings? Did he truly find me beautiful and special?

"But Bear, we're both men. How can we be romantically attracted to each other? Aren't you worried that this is wrong? Don't you find me strange?" I asked, my voice trembling.

Bear gently cupped my face in his hands, his touch so tender it nearly melted me. "It's not weird at all, Dunk. In many places, it's completely normal for men to be with men. They even get married. I'm not disgusted by you-I'm attracted to you. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Will you be my boyfriend? Will you give me the honor of calling you mine?"

Yes, I will be your boyfriend. I'm so happy, Bear-I can't even express how I feel. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be loved by you."

Bear and I started dating, though we decided to keep it a secret from my friends. Our village was not open to this kind of relationship, and we feared the consequences. If my father found out, he would be furious. It was safer for us to keep our relationship hidden, but maintaining it away from prying eyes was challenging.

Bear was incredibly sweet, and I finally felt loved and understood. After Pond, I had felt so alone. Red and Lak were good friends, but their jokes sometimes crossed the line, making me feel insulted and humiliated. They would tease me about my appearance-how I was too fair for a boy, how my face was too delicate, and how my lips were too pink and full.How nerd I am...... or some insulting jokes .Their teasing often made me feel uncomfortable, even to the point where I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror.

One day, Bear said, "Dunk, it's really hard to spend time together like this. I want us to be closer. How about you move to the dormitory? I can arrange for your room to be right next to mine so we can be together more often."

"That sounds like a great idea. I'll give it a try," I agreed. Bear gave me a quick kiss, and I headed home.

When I spoke to my father, my voice was shaky. "Dad, the pressure from my studies and soccer practice is getting to be too much. Can I move to the dormitory? It would save me a lot of time."

To my surprise, my father responded with a slight smile. "Finally, you've said something sensible. You can move to the dormitory. I've heard from your teacher about how you helped your team win the final match. He praised you a lot, and your grades have improved as well. Keep working hard and don't let me down."

I was overjoyed when my dad finally acknowledged me and gave me permission to move into the dorm. I couldn't wait to spend time with my sweetheart, Bear. But little did I know, our relationship was about to take a dark turn.

One night, as we sat in Bear's room, he started kissing me. But things quickly escalated, and I felt uncomfortable. "Babe, we should stop. I'm not ready for this. Can we wait until after I graduate?" I pleaded.

But Bear was insistent. "I've waited long enough, Dunk. I'm your boyfriend; how can you deny me? Don't you love me?" I felt a pang of guilt and fear, worried that he might leave me if I didn't give in.

"I love you, Bear, more than myself. But I just don't feel right about this. Please, can't you understand me?" I begged. But Bear wouldn't listen. He pressured me, saying he had sacrificed so much for me and wanted a future together in Bangkok.

I reluctantly surrendered, despite feeling uncertain and scared. The experience was painful, both physically and emotionally. The next morning, I was in agony, with a fever and difficulty walking. I had to skip an important match, which would surely anger my father.

As time passed, Bear's behavior towards me changed dramatically. He became controlling and manipulative, forcing me to do his bidding while using me for his desires. I felt trapped and alone, wondering where the Bear I once loved had gone.

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Thank you for reading. Let me know your thoughts about this story in the comments ☺️