Jesus Loves You

04 | Tell You, Before This, I Used To Hate Jesus

The new friends that I received in the new class were good but maybe, I was too blind to believe in every smile I found on faces before me.

I was a person who needed people to be around her all the time. Not because they were of any use to me, or treated me like a princess, or we were kind of best friends. No, there was nothing like that. But I was addicted to the idea of having them around me and believing that they were my strength.

How can I make you understand the condition of my mind?

I loved being alone, observing little things. But when surrounded by people, I needed someone to stay by my side — that's how vulnerable I used to be. Every shoulder by my side made me rely on it as soon as I saw it. Maybe the hunger to be loved and understood by people was so strong that I was ready to lean on someone as soon as I got the chance. 

The Bible tells us to be like a warrior and the Lord even trains us into living fearlessly, [And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him, and said unto him, The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valor. — Judges 6:12, KJV]. Haven't you read in the Bible how David mentioned that God had trained him well for wars? [Blessed be the Lord my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. — Psalms 144:1, KJV]. The same way God teaches us, and I feel blessed to have someone like God who even makes us fearless. 

When God comes to train this way, I know it hurts. In old times, you know kings used to practice a lot before meeting each other in a battleground. Can you imagine the way they used to practice? We know how brilliant David was in fighting. Women used to sing praises of him, [Saul has killed thousands but David has killed tens of thousands! — 1 Samuel 18:7, NIV]. Ever wondered what took killing ‘tens of thousands’? Of course, a great amount of sacrifice, discipline, blood and tears! 

Before killing tens of thousands, David had to face a lion and a bear to protect the flock under his care, [1 Samuel 17:36]. He killed such dangerous beasts and there was nobody to praise him for that. That kind of sacrifice and discipline are needed to become as fearless as David.

I agree that the phase where God trains us is painful and lazy people will never like this idea. However, if you're lazy and still have this desire to let God guide you, it's awesome! Just ask God and He'll help you in making a firm decision.

When that season comes and God is training you, let Him just do it! Don't stop Him. Becoming fearless is an amazing experience. I enjoyed being in my comfort zone and I didn't want anyone to disturb me but when God came and decided to shake me whole to wake me up, I learned it's the best if we let God take the lead and silently obey Him in everything.

How many of us are afraid of sickness that might kill us when we grow old? How many of us think we'll become completely bald as soon as we cross 60? 60, I think I grabbed a big number because people around 30 are already afraid of becoming bald. How tiny of you to be afraid of such tiny reasons!

Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears: let the weak day, I'm strong! — Joel 3:10, NIV.

People have a Goliath in their lives and they need to beat him off but before meeting the giant in the battlefield, God will train you in darkness and hidden places where you'll receive no praises from anyone but it will only make you strong enough to come face to face with the Goliath of your life and defeat it. That's why I say, let God work in your life.

Seeing huge problems, many of us begin cursing God. Some stop talking to God. Some stop serving Him, thinking they became Christians to receive luxury but they were being persecuted! Dear, here I'll say, Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. — 2 Timothy 3:12, NIV.