Jesus Loves You

10 | The Bottom Rock

It was the day I received the Word and dedicated my life to Jesus. 

Finding Jesus was a great experience and now living with Him, according to Him, has become everything. The more I spend time with Him, the more I understand Him. And you know, when you understand Jesus, you love Him even more. Can you give Him everything at once? No, it's not possible. You keep giving, you keep shedding, and you keep learning. It's a beautiful journey. 

In the beginning, I was afraid of coming into a relationship. With anyone, of course. That's why I never had a boyfriend.

Even with Jesus, I was reluctant. I didn't want to give my life to Him, thinking that He would take every decision of my life and put restrictions over everything. 

Because my mentality was different. When I heard about heaven, where God abides, I thought it's an impossible place. Yeah, I thought life in heaven is hard because sin has an impact on me. I thought how would I be able to live without throwing glances at the beautiful angels in heaven. I'm sorry I'm this shameless! But I was wondering if I craved a drag in heaven. Or… can I live without sex in heaven? I know my thoughts are kind of disgusting but that's the meaning of one speaking of his mind. 

But meeting Jesus just changed me whole. I even learned that the thoughts meeting my mind could have an impact on me but because I have believed in Jesus and I've been crucified with Him, my old self has died. 

“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.” — Romans 6:6, NIV. 

Look! I'm no longer a slave to sin when I've come to be a daughter of God through Jesus Christ, my Lord! [1 John 3:1.]

The more I began spending time with Jesus, the more I began loving Him. It keeps increasing. The warmth, the love, the glow keep spreading through my chest like a salve seeping over the surface of wounds. I love it. 

Now it has increased so much that I keep asking Jesus to take charge of my life. 

It's different! I was someone who wouldn't do anything on someone's command. I hated people dominating me; controlling me. But with Jesus, I ask Him through the depth of my heart to rule over me. I want Him to take charge and lead me as He desires. 

I told you about the urge where we love someone so much that we just submit ourselves to our beloved's desires. Anything the beloved says, you do it for the sake of his smile. This urge makes me restless when I see Jesus silent in some areas of my life. I don't want Him to! I want Him to tell me what He likes, what He wants me to do, what He wants to see in my life and I would do it gladly! 

I have seen it. Indeed, His plans are for your good. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11, NIV. 

Everything that He wants to do in your life, let Him do it. 

When it comes to me. I reject every voice that makes me feel like I wouldn't like it. Even if I don't feel, I ask Him to correct my feelings, too. This heart is deceitful, after all. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” — Jeremiah 17:9, NIV. I'm glad God can understand it. 

After Jesus walked into my life, I learned about my real identity. I'm still learning. Daily lessons from Jesus are indeed amazing. 

You too! Don't pay attention to what the devil says about you. Pay attention to what Jesus says about you. That's reality. 

Why and how have I come to love Jesus so much? Actually, He talks to me daily and it's my daily dose. I can't spend a day without a conversation with Him. All my stupid thoughts came to halt when I learned I wouldn't want to do anything stupid in heaven because all my attention is going to remain on Jesus. Why? Because He is the darling of heaven, the most beautiful sight that the angels in heaven can't come up with to think of someone else when they have Jesus to behold. Heaven isn't heaven because it is beautiful. Heaven is heaven because the Father and the Son are there. 

Jesus makes heaven beautiful and with Him in heaven, I know I'm going to forget the world. Already I'm beginning to focus on Him alone. 

So, that was the revelation we received. 

I also can't forget the day I got baptized with the Holy Spirit. The intensity of the moment and the reality of Jesus made me realise why I need Him. 

The presence of the Lord once again filled the room. I was praying when I felt tremors running down my body. My teacher announced that the Lord wanted to touch everyone and he laid hands on everyone to pray for them. 

While he prayed for others, I kept asking the Lord to give me the gift of tongues because I was preparing for it. And it happened. My teacher didn't come to me but the Lord approached me first. The trembling intensified and I felt my knees giving up. It felt awesome. The very core of my being was shaking when He came and stood in front of me. I knew it was Him. I knew He was there. 

What a beautiful moment! It was the first time I felt the presence of Jesus. The Spirit — Oh! What a lovely person He is! — came and touched me. I gasped for Him. I needed Him. 

And I felt Him touching my lips. How real was that touch! So real! His fingers came and touched my lips and I knew I had the gift of tongues. It was awesome. 

The same time my teacher came and prayed for me. I fell on my knees and thanked Jesus for everything, especially for the Holy Spirit. His touch not only gave me the gift of tongues but also revived me, brought me to life and the same day, I received a heart of flesh. The touch of His hand not only shook me but also the life of the Spirit filled me whole and I saw how the beautiful glowing waves traveled through my limbs. 

The beauty of that moment seized my heart and I knew I wanted Him and I couldn't leave Him. 

I learned that I have come out of Him, and this reason is enough to make anyone understand that I would need Him, no matter what. Living without Him is impossible because what I breathe is His name. In my every breath, it is His name; His beautiful name. 

He has loved me with an everlasting love, [Jer. 31:3].

Now, I remember the time when I walked down the path with my friends and I said, “I'd never believe in Jesus. Never!” 

Now, He says to me, “I heard that, Hina.” Well, I'm glad You did, Jesus! 

Do you think I was the only one in His eyes? No, you too have His attention. Your face is engraved on His palm, [Isaiah 49:16, “See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands…” (NIV)]. It's impossible for Him to forget you. Just give your life to Him, will you? He is waiting, and nobody can love you as He does.

I ran after people who didn't care about me but God's plan was different. He gave me people who can't bear it when I'm sad. They move; they pray for me. They say I look good when I smile. All matters to me.

He has renewed everything in my life. 

I couldn't smile for two years. I remained silent. I barely spoke a word. I cried every night. I thought it was my life. I was stuck. I fell into the deepest pit of sin. I reached the bottom and hit the rock and I thought if God even stretched His hand to me, I won't be able to hold it but oh!—the rock at the bottom turned out to be the Saviour Himself!