Jesus Loves You

08 | Yeah! God Is Good

After I graduated, I met heartbreaks. 

My so-called friends who made such promises to me—promises that will make you cry a river and look at your friend like she or he's your moon, but in the end, it was all a bluff—betrayed me. 

Not once but many times. I have lost count of it, honestly because I didn't learn from my mistakes and kept trusting them. I just remember the evening when I received another blow on my guts because another ‘friend’ of mine just broke my heart and trust and I learnt that evening what Solomon meant when he said, [Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Pro. 3:5-6, KJV]. 

As long as I had friends, I was delusional that they would be faithful to me like I have been faithful to them. 

I don't lie. My God knows how, with a selfless heart, I helped them with everything that was possible for me but all I received in return was my trust broken. I was tossed aside like a tissue paper by them. 

Terrible feeling, I'm telling you.

One day in school as I came back, my friend looked at me and said, “You're selfish.” 

I paused and wondered if she meant it. I asked, “How do you say that?” Poor Hina felt bad; it hurt her but did her friend know? No, she didn't. 

She shrugged. “I don't know. But you are.” And I kept asking her how I was selfish to her. I tried to give as much as it was possible for me and I yearned for care and loyalty which I couldn't receive and what I received were accusations. It ruined my mind. 

I don't write this to blame my friends. I don't even remember their faces perfectly now. I've forgiven them for everything they did to me. But I write this to make those people know who believe and think that friendship will save them. 

Not at all, dear. Not. At. All. 

Such people literally exist!—I didn't believe it until I met them. Like… you do everything for them and they don't even stand on their legs for you. 

I still remember the day I was sick and bleeding and my friend had no pity on me. Rather, when I asked for her help, she made an annoyed face. I received no mercy but backbites. 

Wow! Can't believe I was this blind to not see and believe that my friends were toxic to me. 

Every time my teachers told me to stay away from my friends. They warned me but I didn't listen to them. I thought maybe they don't understand my friends but I do. No, no. I was highly mistaken when I thought I knew my friends. Those teachers also came to tell me what God wanted to say to me to save me but I believed it not. I believed my friends more and received betrayals. 

But soon, God intervened. 

As soon as another intersection in my life came, my friends first left me after showing their true color. Then I was all alone and hurt badly. When I remember those days, I wonder how am I alive today, because the intensity of hurt and the depth of that betrayal and the depression following behind could make me commit suicide. 

All thanks to God that He gave me the strength to live no matter what. Those days of depression choked me and I just wanted to escape that all but how could it be possible when I kept thinking that, maybe, this was my life and I was going to remain this way. 

I told you already, I guess, I overdosed on my medicines, saw strange things in my dream, found my face to be tear-stricken when I woke up, and every night I felt terrible horror surrounding me. But the day I met Jesus, that encounter was as if everything to me.