Runaan and Ethari, Raising Rayla

chapter 19

"How does it feel now?" Ethari asked Rayla, after he cleaned her wound.
"It's...better. Thank you Ethari."
"No problem. Moonberry tart?" Ethari offered her one. Rayla hesitated, then shrugged and took it.

Runaan walked in the door.
"There you are." Ethari stood up straighter. He didn't smile, which made Rayla shudder. She'd never really seen him with such a strict face.
"Uhm, I'll just..." She got up slowly, still mouth full. She nodded to the stairs and ran up them.

Runaan smiled at Rayla and when she turned the corner upstairs to her room, he looked at Ethari. His smile dropped.
"Is everything okay?" He asked. Ethari breathed out.
Runaan raised an eyebrow. Ethari went to speak, but looked upstairs to see if Rayla was there. He paused and sighed frustrated.
"Do you.. want to go outside? To talk?" Runaan suggested, quietly. Ethari nodded. They both walked outside. Runaan felt the cold air hit his face, refreshing. But chilly.

He turned to his husband. The second they were out of earshot, Ethari exploded.
"What the hell were you thinking??"
Runaan was taken aback from this unexpected outburst.

"I- what? Ethari- What's going on??"
"You hurt Rayla?" Runaan covered his face in his hands and then dropped them.
"Ethari, it was a mistake it wasn't meant to happen. She wasn't focused on her training, and her blade cut her by mistake! I didn't hurt her!" Runaan raised his voice. But Ethari's voice started to raise higher.

"You were meant to be watching her! Making sure she doesn't hurt herself! Didn't you notice how down she was today? She's obviously not going to be fully focused!"

"Listen Ethari-" Runaan protested, but Ethari continued.
"She's upset!! She won't be on high alert, she won't be able to defend herself correctly when she's not entirely 100 percent!"

"Then what is she going to do when she's having a meltdown, being chased by an enemy? She has to be able to defend herself even when she's sad or upset or whatever!!"
Runaan began to argue back, reaching Ethari's volume easily.
"But she's a kid Runaan! She's not going to be PERFECT all the time!!"

"Ethari!" Runaan yelled.
Ethari stopped. He could see the anger coming off of Runaan. He took a deep breath, and stepped back. He wasn't scared of him.

There was a silence.
"Runaan." Ethari said. Runaan looked down to the side.

"Runaan." He said, softer this time. He went to take Runaan's hand but he pulled away.
"There's something wrong. You need to tell me what's wrong." Runaan turned away and threw his head back.

"This! This is wrong! Everything is wrong here. There is always going to be some sort of argument, with either you, or Rayla!"
Ethari looked at him.
"Don't you know how it feels to have to run almost everything, have to sort everything out and take care of our assassins all the time??" Runaan's anger was rising.

"Runaan-"  Ethari tried to calm him.
"NO!" Runaan yelled. Ethari stepped away again.
"Runaan." He said strict, loudly. Runaan whipped his head around quickly.

"Stop."

There was another silence.
"Things are difficult for you right now. Things are difficult for all of us right now. But we need to push through. Please Runaan, you need to calm down."

Calm down, the words in Ethari's voice swirled inside Runaan's head. He looked down at the ground again.
"Come inside. You need to relax." Ethari held out his hand to him.

Runaan hesitated. Ethari smiled at him. He looked into his husband's eyes.
"Please?"

Runaan stared at his hand. Another silence.

Then Runaan shook his head. Ethari's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"No." Runaan said, quietly.

"Runaan?" Ethari looked at him, his hand still out.
''No I need, I need.. I need to have time for myself."
"Runaan? It's pitch black. No one will be out, you'll be on your own outside? It's cold too. Just, just come back insi-"

"No." Runaan insisted.
"I- Ill see you... soon. Tell.. Tell Rayla I've just gone on a walk. I'll, ill be back later." He turned.
"Oh, Runaan..." Ethari said, but Runaan had already started to walk off.

Ethari stood in the doorway, watching him walk off into the moonlit night.

                                                  ----------------