Parallel Lives | BBANGSAZ

F I V E

M I N J I
—

My hands have been shaking for ten minutes—ever since the moment Haerin pointed to the pretty brunette girl and said, "Oh my god, that's Hanni Pham!" My eyes landed on the girl whom I treated like shit just a few hours ago. Of course, she has to be Hanni-fucking-Pham. I couldn't stop thinking about her my whole shift. The way she flinched and the hurt in her eyes had been killing me for hours. I'm not a mean person, but she caught me at a bad time—not that it's an excuse, but... yeah, I fucked up.

I practiced a lot of what I was going to say to her before I learned who she was. I had a whole speech prepared, but of course, I had to fuck up my entire future just by treating this girl like shit. I doubt Hanni Pham is a girl who forgives. Maybe she is—she seems nice, but I'm sure she doesn't forget.

I place my shaky hands inside my pockets, praying that she doesn't notice the anxiety I'm feeling. She already told me she's not going to do this—she has her friend going to Professor Lee right this second to let her know she's not doing this, and my entire future is now fucked up. Seriously, why her? Why me?!

Hanni crosses her arms over her chest, raising her brows at me. Her light brown hair falls down her back in soft waves; she looks even prettier in the daylight. The sparkle in her soft brown eyes squeezes my chest.

"So, I guess now you do care who the fuck I am, right?" she presses her lips together, and I try hard not to flinch.

I deserved that.

A long sigh escapes my mouth. "I... I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was having a bad day and... you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sorry."

I lock my eyes with hers, feeling like she's sending daggers through them. "You're sorry because you need me, or you're genuinely sorry?"

I try to repress a smile. "I'm really sorry. I'm not like that—I wanted to say sorry the moment the words came out of my mouth."

Her face softens, and the freckles on her cheeks and nose are more visible now. She's shorter than me, but she is intimidating. Haerin was right—Jesus Christ, I'm in front of Hanni Pham.

Never in my life have I interacted with one of the hockey royalty, and here I am—asking for forgiveness from one of them because I treated her like shit. Fuck my life—I'm pretty sure her mom could sue me just because I talked to her the wrong way. What? That's what I heard. People say Karina Pham is very protective of her family.

"I forgive you," her voice is soft, calm, almost angelic, and it brings a smile to my face. "Just because I won't do this, and I'm also sorry. I guess we're even."

My heart sinks to my stomach, and the burning in my chest is more intense. "No—wait. I... fuck. I know you don't know me, and you couldn't care less about me, but... I need to do this. I really do. Please?"

She takes a deep breath and sighs, like she was waiting for this. "Look—I know you probably think I signed up for this, but I didn't. I only wanted to try something new, and the dance classes were that. My friend, Suyeon, convinced me, and now we're here. I'm really sorry—I don't have enough time in my life to do this."

It feels like someone's stabbing a knife into my heart—her, probably—and she squeezes it with each word. "Hanni," I say, taking a deep breath, and she never takes her eyes off me. "I know you don't need the money nor the scholarship. I know who you are—God, the entire world knows who you are. I'm asking you, please, put yourself in my shoes—I need this, and I can't do it without you."

She closes her eyes for a second and rubs her forehead with her fingers. "I could talk to Professor Lee so she can find you—"

"No. She won't let us. It's either you're in or out—We can't change partners. I can't do anything if you don't want to do this... I'm asking you... please. That kind of money could change my life, and the scholarship... god, I'm pathetic, begging you for this. I know you don't understand," my voice comes out shaky, and I hate myself for it. I don't even know this girl in front of me—she doesn't owe me anything, and I'm begging her to help me win a fucking program? What the fuck is wrong with me?