Parallel Lives | BBANGSAZ

T H I R T Y T H R E E

H A N N I
—

"It's so nice to meet you in person, Hanni." Dr. Reed greets me with a warm, sincere smile.

I raise my chin, looking up at her, mirroring her smile. I've been having therapy sessions with Dr. Emily Reed for two weeks now. The first four sessions were via video calls, as I wasn't allowed to leave my bed, except for physical therapy.

Yesterday, my physical therapist gave me the green light to start walking without feeling like I'd pass out from the pain, and I'm thankful it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

"It's nice to meet you too," I say, nervously tapping my foot on the floor.

I've done therapy before. My moms considered it important while I was growing up, and our therapist was a nice lady—she helped me a lot. But I had to let her go when I turned eighteen because she specialized in kids, and I wasn't a kid anymore.

Dr. Reed seems nice, though. Her chocolate brown hair bobs at her chin, and she wears jeans, a cream blouse, and a pair of boots. She looks like she's in her early thirties and specializes in dealing with abusive relationships, eating disorders, bullying, and violent behavior. Apparently, she has treated a lot of powerful people in America. My moms recommended her to me after hearing about her from many influential people they know. I just hope she's nice and that she helps me.

Dr. Reed holds a notebook in her lap, and I try not to focus on the amazing view this building has. You can't see the city because of how high we are, but there's a beautiful view of the blue sky. Thank God it's not raining—that would've been bad for me.

"Um... do you want me to introduce myself again? I... I know we did that in the first session." My palms feel sweaty. I don't trust her yet, but I'm getting there. She's treated me with so much kindness, and she speaks with such calmness. She listens and writes, but I can't bring myself to look her in the eyes for too long.

"Do you want to introduce yourself again?" she asks in a kind tone.

I chuckle. Every time I ask a question, she asks it right back. "I think I'm good. You already know me."

"I don't think I know you yet, Hanni. But I'm here for that—to get to know you, to help you, and maybe along the way, you'll get to know yourself a little better." I give her a soft smile, and when she notices I won't answer, she continues. "Why don't we start with something easy? How was your weekend?"

I nod. I can do this. "Well, since we last spoke," four days ago, "I mostly stayed home and watched movies with my friends, then at night with my sisters. They've been all over me the last two weeks." I smile to myself. "My family came home on Saturday, and we all went to Sunghoon's game—I didn't walk, don't worry. I looked like an idiot being carried by my Ma on her back."

Dr. Reed gives me a soft smile, and I wonder if she saw the pictures on the internet. Can I ask that?

"Your friends—" she says. "What are their names?"

"Um... Suyeon and Sua," heat rushes to my cheeks when I think about the last person, "and Minji."

"Minji," she repeats, and my cheeks heat even more. Oh, my God. Does she know? How can she know? Is she— "Is this the friend you were supposed to do a..." she lowers her head, reading her notebook, "showcase with?"

I nod, trying to hide my embarrassment. "We're still doing it. I will get better by that time. Um, Dr. Spencer said we'll do everything to make it happen, and I'm doing great so far." Liar.

"Do you want to do this for her—or for you?"

"For her," the answer is out of my mouth before I can even think about it. "I mean—we met because of it. At first, I didn't want to do it because I had to... um, focus on my performance, and Minji practically begged me. Since the start, she's been saying that this would help her so much, that she needs the money and the scholarship. And I... I want to help her. She deserves this, and she's been working so hard on that song, and I screwed up everything for her."