A slow fall

Chapter 19 - Caleb

The rest of my week followed its usual pattern. The fact I was sleeping somewhat consistently, for more than only an hour or two a night, was the only variation – though a pleasant one. I tried not to overthink why that may be so, tried to stop my mind from associating the late-night calls and sleepily utter goodnights as a welcome comfort I had been searching for. I liked to pretend I didn't hang up those calls, the one's where he fell asleep before we'd both offered our goodbyes, because I shortly fell asleep too. The calming lull that came with Caleb's soft breaths as he fell asleep felt too vulnerable a truth to share. It felt like crossing a line, an invasion of something I wasn't quite sure I could name. 

So, I listened to his even breaths in the dead of night, allowing my chest to rise and fall in time with his own, and imagined – a devilish and unwelcome thought – that the phone wasn't separating us.

On Thursday Aaliyah managed to speak with me alone. It wasn't uncommon; out of all the friends I had neglected these past few years she was one that stuck around regardless. It wasn't that I didn't care, maintain friendships had just become too much of a challenge. Speaking to people was becoming harder and my social battery was running on empty.

I was just lucky Marcus and Shane had stayed. I don't think they could ever understand how much that meant to me.

"I just wanted to see how you were." She asked me after English, the only class we had together. My usual response of fine didn't please her much. "Okay, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to. I'm here, though, whenever. That wasn't all," she said, walking in step with me towards the canteen.

Her tone had taken on a mischievous lint, and I eyed her suspiciously. "Go on."

"So," she turned around, skilfully walking backwards in the semi-crowded hall, "Lucas?"

"What about him?"

"Well, I don't want to pry," and yet she was, "but you went back to his, so I'm just curious what that's about."

"We're friends." When she shot me a look I emphasised, "just friends. He took me back to his because I was drunk."

"I would've believed that if one," she held up her pointed finger, "you weren't blushing right now, two," a second "you didn't already have someone to take you home because you were drunk, and three," a third "you weren't holding his hand whenever you could when I know you don't really enjoy physical contact." Her hand was now held up proudly, the three fingers taunting me.

"He's a friend. He was looking after me the way a friend would, nothing more."

She regarded me for a moment. Her expression was unnerving, and I shifted awkwardly in my spot. We'd stopped just before the entrance to the canteen, and I debated just running away from her, but I knew she'd just follow. "Do you want it to be something more?"

"Aaliyah." I pleaded.

"Okay, okay." Her hands were held up in surrender, but her mischievous expression told me this conversation was far from over.

"Let's go bowling." Aaliyah announced once we'd reach the table.

"Bowling?" Voices piped up in surprise.

"Come on," Aaliyah drawled, "all you guys do together is drink. Let's do something else for a change." Her expression was pleading, urging the group to accept the request and her final, "It'll be fun," solidified her success. A chorus of agreements sounded around the table, some hesitant and others buzzing with excitement.

"You should bring Lucas." Aliyah said to me once the interrupted conversations had resumed and chattering recommenced.

I rolled my eyes, muttering "I'll ask" as I sat down beside Marcus. I wasn't sure if Lucas would want to spend his Friday night bowling with a group of highschoolers but couldn't deny that I wanted to see him.