One Shots, Two Shots And A Dead Drew.

Exhausted

He felt the tide changing. Maybe Nico had gotten through the phase of rage and bitterness and shutting Will out. Maybe now he was ready to be loved and comforted. Maybe now Will could stop crumbling from the weight of being so useless.

“It's not fair,” Nico croaked.

“It… it's going to be okay…” Will whispered.

Which was the wrong thing to say.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Nico cried, pushing Will off of him.

“I'm sorry, I was just trying to–”

“You were trying to make everything better, like you always do, but there's no silver lining to this! Stop acting like this isn't a big deal!” Nico snapped.

“I-I'm not!” Will objected.

Nico stood abruptly and hurled another rock into the sea, letting out a guttural scream of frustration. The water took the hit, but Will got the feeling that he was the intended target. He tried to shake it off. Nico started pacing the shore.

“The world is destined to lose everyone good, is that it? And I'm destined to lose everyone who has ever given a damn about me?” he demanded.

“Neeks, no, you know that's not true…” Will urged, standing up slowly.

“OH, IT'S NOT?” Nico challenged, his eyes shooting daggers into Will's, as if waiting for him to back down and look away. He didn't.

“ No ,” Will said firmly, hoping Nico could see the sincerity in his eyes. Nico lost his own staring contest, turning away and shaking his head bitterly.

“You're the last one who cares, Will, and pretty soon I'll lose you too,” Nico muttered to the ocean. Will felt a spark of hope; this was the first indication in the past week that Nico actually knew he cared.

“ None of that is true. I promise,” Will said gently, touching Nico's shoulder. It was a bold move, and Nico did flinch at the unexpected contact, but he also turned around and made eye contact for the second time.

“You can't promise something like that! You can't promise not to DIE!” Nico cried, clenching his fists. He was right, of course, but that didn't feel relevant.

“ Well I'll try my damnedest not to! ” Will shouted back, throwing his arms out hopelessly. That's when he noticed the tears shining in Nico's eyes. He took a step closer and continued softly, “And I'm not the only one who cares about you Neeks, you have to know that.”

Nico narrowed his eyes. “Oh I have to , do I?” he demanded, as if his boyfriend had just issued a threat. Will ignored the urge to roll his eyes. It's like Nico had a talent for interpreting Will's words in the worst way possible.

“What about Hazel?” he asked instead.

Nico shoved his hands into his pockets, tearing his gaze away from Will's. “She just thinks she owes me because I gave her a second chance at life,” he mumbled at the ground.

“That's not true,” Will insisted. “She loves you. And so do Reyna and Annabeth and Per–”

“They've never given a damn about me,” Nico spat.

“That's not true !” Will repeated, his patience wearing thin. He felt helpless against the rage boiling inside his boyfriend. Nothing was working.

Nico glared dramatically into the distance and said with bitter certainty, “If they did, they'd be dead by now. That's the pattern, isn't it?” Will did accidentally roll his eyes at that. He was thankful Nico wasn't watching.

“ It's not a pattern! ” Will protested. “It's literally only happened twice –”

Nico swiveled his head to glower at his boyfriend. “Three times, Will. Three times.”

"R-Right, your mom… I'm sorry…" Will murmured, shrinking a little bit under the glare. This should have been his sign to let it go, but he didn’t. He was sleep-deprived and emotionally drained and losing his ability to make good decisions. So instead he pressed on, “But, okay, fine– it's literally only happened thrice , and you're making these giant overgeneralizations!”

“ Only thrice?! ” Nico echoed in horror. “As if three isn't enough?! How many people do I have to lose for you to think it matters?” His scowl had turned into shock.

“Wait, that's not–I-I know it matters ,” Will corrected. “I'm just saying that doesn't mean it's gonna keep happening. It doesn't mean the world is doomed or whatever dramatic claims your brain is making.”

His shock turned into hurt. “How can you act like everything is fine and I'm the dramatic one?”

“No, that's not what I'm trying to say…” Will mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Gods, he needed sleep. His ability to show empathy was slipping. He knew he should stop talking, but it was too late. “Godsthisisexhausting,” he whispered inadvertently. “I just meant–”

“I'm exhausting?” Nico asked quietly, his voice shaking.

Will looked up and noticed how… fragile his boyfriend looked. This whole time, he had seemed to be a stone fortress. His walls were so high and so strong, painted with rage and stoicism, keeping everything else safe from outsiders. Logically, Will knew that these walls were protecting the grief and sadness. He had been waiting for them to crumble, or at least form a gate for him. But he wasn't prepared to see Nico look so small and breakable without them. Guilt washed over him as he realized how insensitive he was being.

“I didn't mean it like that…” Will whispered.

Nico's eyes brimmed with tears. “That is exactly what you meant,” he corrected.

Will wanted to tell him about the sleepless nights he had been having. The nausea. The constant anxiety coursing through his veins as he watched his boyfriend get crushed under the weight of grief, completely unable to help. He wanted to explain that his exhaustion stemmed from Will's own overwhelming helplessness, not from Nico. But he didn't know how to say any of that without making the conversation about him.

Instead, he tried to gently ask how he can support him. But it came out of his mouth sounding frustrated and annoyed. “What do you want me to do? I'm trying to help, and you're just–”

“Stop trying to help!” Nico shouted. “Stop trying to make this better! As if this is some injury you can just heal ! It's so much more than that!”

“I-I know…” Will mumbled sadly.

Tears streamed down Nico's face as he stared up at Will. “Stop telling me that things are okay. Things aren't okay.”

“Okay. I-I'll stop,” Will promised. “I'm sorry, Neeks. I'm sorry.” He reached out and took Nico's hands in his, but his boyfriend instinctively pulled them away.

Will looked at Nico’s face, downcast but no longer angry. This gave him the courage to try again.

“Nico… Sunshine, please…” he whispered, lightly brushing his fingers over his boyfriend’s knuckles.

Nico gave in and squeezed Will's hand, stifling a sob. It was the first physical contact he assented to this week, and Will's heart fluttered with hope.

He was brave enough to ask, “Can I please give you a hug?”

Nico surrendered, stepping forward and resting his head against Will's chest. Will wrapped his arms around him, cradling his head, but tried not to squeeze too tight.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered into his hair, kissing his head so softly he kind of hoped Nico wouldn't feel it; he felt like he was pushing his luck by asking Nico to let him in this close.

Will tried not to ruminate over all the things he said wrong. (He failed, but at least he tried.) He tried to focus on the positive; despite everything, this was still better than when Nico wasn't speaking. Maybe now the healing could begin.