It Feels Like a Dream! (BTS Yoongi FF)

It's Okay!!

It has been a week since I got my leaves approved and I just spent all my time procrastinating my plans to travel. I feel like just staying in my bed and do nothing, it feels good and I am happier too because I am reading books all day. I have been feeling sad since that day when Kriti and I had that conversation. I kept feeling that void in my life now, it's too wide that I am just so lonely that even if I am around people or friends I am still lonely. He has not spoken to me since then and to be honest I did not have the energy to speak to him these days. I can't bicker or talk a lot these days. I usually go into hibernation when something is bothering me because I don't feel like opening up to anyone. Kriti kept messaging me now and then to check on me. I am grateful to her.

Another week passed, I then wake up on the 16th day, I decided that I will book tickets to somewhere no matter what. I went to the kitchen, made myself tea and got back to the room, switch on my laptop and search "Tickets from Delhi to Seoul". I did not even realise that I typed that because I was planning to travel somewhere in India only. There it has shown various flights, I was in my thoughts for a while before looking back at the screen then I just gave up and scrolled down to check the best available flight. I searched on various websites and then booked the one that was cheaper than the rest, with no layovers and late night departures. It's 06th of August today and I booked the flight for 11th of August. I then download the tickets, share the same with Seokjin first and close the Kakaotalk app not wanting to send him the tickets as I am still mad at him for I don't know what. He has done nothing wrong, he was just teasing me along with my best friend but yes he did not even try to contact me after that day that makes me sad and mad both. I know I have not tried to talk to him too but still.

I then click on Kakaotalk app again and forward the tickets to Yoongi too as I am still not in the mood to answer his "Why have you not shared the tickets with me when I made myself clear last time and all?" And I press the power button to lock the phone. I am hungry now but I don't feel like cooking so I have logged in to Swiggy and tried finding something to eat. After almost 30 minutes, I gave up and went to the kitchen, made Maggie and the sigh of relief and comfort it made me feel cannot be expressed in words. After I finish eating, I do the dishes and lay back in my bed. I fell asleep within minutes.

It's around 2:00 AM, my phone starts ringing, I twitched and then woke up a little just so I can lift the phone and slide to answer. I did not even check the caller id, my eyes are refusing to open.

"Hmmmm.." in my sleepy voice.

"Sorry! I could not reply to your message in time, I am heading back to home right now." He says. He sounds tired.

"Hmmm.." I could not force myself to say a word, I feel so sleepy and lazy.

"You can't talk?" He asks, there was something weird in his voice right now that just made me sit up straight and talk to him.

"I am so sorry, my body is not properly functioning right now. What happened to you Yoongi?" I ask him, he sensed that I am telling the truth.

"Nothing has happened. Why did you ask?" He says trying to sound normal.

"I can just feel it. Something's off. You don't sound like yourself, something is definitely bothering you. You would never call me at this hour no matter how late you work." I tell him.

"No point in hiding anything it seems. Nothing I just had a pretty bad day. Nothing worked out, I could not write any lyrics, I could not create any music and moreover I could not feel like I can even sing or rap. No words were coming out of my stupid mouth. I don't know what happened. I did not feel like myself. I kept re-doing everything and then just gave up. I then took out my phone, saw your message and that was the only thing made me a little happy." He sighs as if this has happened to him for the first time.

"It's Okay! We all have such days in our lives that does not mean we are incapable of having good things coming our way. It's not that big of a deal if you could not write any lyrics today, you can write it tomorrow or day after tomorrow or even later than that when you feel like. Same goes for every other thing. Our life is not just for a day you see. I know you will make amazing music any day but that doesn't mean it should be today. Take it easy. I know its easy said than done but still you can't run back in time if you keep lurking around the same moment. You can re-do it tomorrow and I am sure it will better than today." I tell him with all the confidence I built in my entire life.

He is not uttering a word, he is quiet and I can't say anything too. It's complete silence that's when I heard his door getting unlocked.

"You reached home. have you had dinner?" I ask him

"Yes, I had." He says

"What did you have?" I ask him because I know he did not. I have this hunch that this guy is so stubborn when it comes to work that he would do anything to keep working. He skipped dinner.

"Ummmm... I had fried chicken, kimchi fried rice and soda." He says.

"I want you to have a good sleep so that whatever is on your mind, vanishes and you wake up with fresh thoughts. I can't give you a hug right now but know that I won't be able to sleep now that I know how bad your day was so compensate my sleep by sleeping for the rest of the hours I could have slept." I tell him.

He takes his phone to the shower and puts it on speaker, "Wait for 5 minutes." I am waiting on the call, I could hear the pitter patter of the water, after almost 10 minutes, he speaks up again,

"I feel better. Thank you for letting me put it all out. Thank you for listening to me. I could have called Jimin or Jin hyung but they all have slept as everyone has overworked today. So I will sleep now."

"Have food before you sleep. I will call you tomorrow and I am always there no matter what time it is or where I am at the moment. Don't overwork Yoongi, not you and not even the guys, none of you should overwork. If you have finished even a little of work today, you can finish the rest tomorrow. We can wait longer for your projects but will never want to see you overworking and impacting your health physically, emotionally or mentally. We want you all healthy and happy. Take your time. You can release anything as slowly as you want. Trust me it is not just me but every fan of yours feel the same way." I reassure him because I know he needs it today.

He never asks for anything but he is working so hard that my heart breaks a lot of times knowing that not only him but the other 6 guys are working their best just so we can have good songs and performances. They all need to rest and we want them to.