𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 & 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 [ꜱᴇᴏᴋꜱᴏᴏ]

11: 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴

⸻ 𐙚 ⸻

Joshua made his way through the winding corridors of the school, his thoughts drifting aimlessly. It had been a long day, filled with the usual classes and an undercurrent of tension that he couldn’t quite shake. His thoughts kept circling back to Seokmin and the strange feeling that had been gnawing at him since the morning. No matter how hard he tried to push it away, it clung to him like a shadow.

He turned the corner towards his last class of the day, suddenly, he heard the familiar sound of light, quick footsteps behind him. Before he could turn around, a warm voice called out.

❝Joshua! Wait up!❞

He turned to see Jeonghan jogging lightly to catch up with him, a bright smile on his face as usual. The older boy’s presence was always easy and familiar, like slipping into a comfortable routine. Joshua slowed his pace, waiting for Jeonghan to reach him.

❝Hey,❞ Jeonghan greeted him with a grin, his voice warm and teasing. ❝You were walking so fast, I thought you were trying to avoid me.❞

Joshua chuckled softly, shaking his head. ❝Sorry, I didn’t see you there.❞

Jeonghan laughed and fell into step beside him, their shoulders brushing slightly as they walked. ❝It’s okay. I’m glad I caught you before class. I wanted to ask you something.❞

❝Oh?❞ Joshua glanced at him, curious. ❝What’s up?❞

Jeonghan hesitated for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. Then, with that same playful glint in his eyes, he said, ❝I had a lot of fun on our date last weekend. I was wondering if you’d like to go on another one?❞

For a moment, Joshua didn’t respond. He just looked at Jeonghan, his mind suddenly a blank slate. The words hung in the air between them, heavy with meaning. Jeonghan’s gaze was expectant, hopeful, and Joshua felt a pang of guilt twist in his chest.

He had enjoyed their date last weekend. They had gone to a small café, spent hours talking, laughing, and it had felt nice, easy. At the time, it had seemed like the start of something… promising. But now, faced with the prospect of another date, Joshua found himself hesitating. The easy warmth he had felt on their first date seemed to have cooled, leaving him uncertain.

Jeonghan’s smile faltered slightly as the silence stretched on. ❝Joshua?❞

Realizing he had been quiet for too long, Joshua quickly nodded, forcing a smile onto his face. ❝Yeah, sure. Another date sounds great.❞

Jeonghan’s smile returned, bright and cheerful. He reached out and casually linked their arms together, a gesture that had always come naturally to him, but today it felt strangely… heavy to Joshua. ❝Awesome! How about this Saturday? We could go to that new art exhibit that just opened up. I heard it’s really cool.❞

❝Yeah,❞ Joshua agreed, though his voice lacked enthusiasm. ❝Saturday sounds good.❞

But even as he said it, there was a dull weight settling in his stomach. The more he thought about it, the more the idea of another date felt wrong, like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. He should be excited—Jeonghan was charming, funny, and they had a great time together. But now, the thought of spending another day together, of pretending like everything was perfect, made him feel… tired.

They walked together, Jeonghan continued to talk, chattering on about the art exhibit and how much he was looking forward to it. Joshua smiled and nodded at the right moments, but his mind was elsewhere, tangled in a web of conflicting emotions.

Had his feelings changed? Or had he never really had those feelings in the first place? It was a question he didn’t want to confront, but it loomed over him, growing larger with every step they took.

❝Joshua, are you okay?❞ Jeonghan’s voice cut through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present.

Joshua blinked, realizing he had fallen silent again. He turned to look at Jeonghan, who was watching him with a slight frown of concern. ❝Yeah, I’m fine,❞ Joshua lied, trying to muster up a more convincing smile. ❝Just thinking about something.❞

Jeonghan studied him for a moment, his brow furrowing slightly. But then he seemed to decide not to press the issue, instead giving Joshua’s arm a light squeeze. ❝Alright. Just let me know if you need to talk, okay?❞

❝Thanks, Jeonghan,❞ Joshua said, genuinely grateful for his kindness, even if it only added to the guilt gnawing at him.

They reached the door to Joshua’s last class, and Jeonghan reluctantly let go of his arm. ❝I’ll see you later, then? We can text about the details for Saturday.❞

❝Yeah, sure,❞ Joshua replied, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears.

Jeonghan gave him one last smile before heading off to his own class, leaving Joshua standing alone at the doorway. For a moment, Joshua just stood there, watching Jeonghan’s retreating figure as his mind continued to spiral.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that there was a disconnect between what he should be feeling and what he actually felt. The warmth and excitement he had experienced on their first date seemed like a distant memory now, replaced by a sense of obligation and uncertainty. Was it because of Seokmin? The thought flitted through his mind before he could stop it, bringing with it a fresh wave of confusion.

Joshua shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts as he stepped into the classroom. But even as he sat down and opened his notebook, the questions kept gnawing at him, refusing to be ignored.

Had his feelings changed? Or had they never really been there in the first place? And if that was the case… what did it mean for him and Jeonghan?

⸻  ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 
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[Unedited]