Autumnxchar🥀💋- tnn

The next morning

1243 words
Tw⚠️sh,smoking,drinking,abuse mentions, sa mentions,panic attacks

Vivian's pov
I woke up at 9 and decided I'm going to go to the shops and make breakfast for me, Siobhan, autumn and Charlotte.
I messaged Siobhan so she knows where I am and why I'm not in bed. I knew she wouldn't open the message now it's for when she wakes up.

Siobhan's PoV
I woke up to an empty bed i checked my phone. There was a message from Viv.
Viv- sorry for not waking and telling you I've gone to the shops to get some stuff for breakfast. I'll see you soon I love you bonbon x
After reading that I felt slightly happier.
So I went to go back to sleep but as soon as I closed my eyes the thought of roger came.

I sat up so fast I almost fell off the bed.
I started spiralling. I couldn't breathe.
I thought 'no I'm not having a panic attack right now. Siobhan breathe' I started to calm down but still couldn't get him out of my head.

I opened my phone case and got my blade out.
I cant cope with these thoughts of roger.
I pulled my shorts down and cut all over both of my thighs. I realised what I did and put the blade back and walked to the bathroom.
The door was slightly open so I thought noone was there. I opened the door char was sat there with a blade in her hand and cuts all up her thighs.

Chars PoV
I fell back asleep with autumn I was safe I felt safe. Then I heard the front door shut and sprung up from my sleep. I was spiralling.
I was having a panic attack. I got out of bed and ran to the bathroom.
I sat on the bathroom floor and my mind was racing.
I started crying my body was shaking. I curled up into a ball and I couldn't stop crying.
I could barely breathe. The only thing I could think of in that moment was roger, get autumn or cut. I didn't know what to do I sat up and opened the drawer in the bathroom.
I grab a leg razor and took it apart.
I grabbed the blades and I pulled my sleeve up.
Both of my arms were completely bandaged and I didn't have the energy to take the bandages off.
I pulled my shorts down. I've never cut on my thighs but when you cut you think you'll only do it once in one spot but once you run out of space you eventually do it on any piece of skin that you can hide easily.
I dragged the blade across my thigh. When I saw the blood I smiled. I did it over and over again until I heard the bathroom door open.
I looked up at Siobhan who had blood dripping down her legs and her shorts covered in blood.
"Siobhan come here shut the door" I said feeling sympathy for the blonde.
"I'm sorry for walking in I thought it was empty" she said as she sat down next to me.
"It's fine what happened why'd you do it" I asked but I have a feeling I knew what it was.
"Roger" she said quietly.
"Same I hate him he ruined me" I said quietly.
"Same but do you have anything that I can clean myself up with" she asked and I nodded.
I stood up and went in the cupboard and grabbed the first aid kit.
"If I clean yours can you clean mine" I asked and Siobhan nodded.
She pulled her shorts down to show her thighs and I grabbed a wipe and wiped all the cuts.
I then grabbed some bandages and a couple of plasters.
"I'll grab you some shorts in a minute" I asked then leant against the cupboard behind me.
I was so drained from all of these thoughts in my head. Siobhan lent over and did the same to me I did to her.
"Thanks now come with me" I said and grabbed her hand and led her to the spare bedroom. I went to the wardrobe and chimed her a pie of shorts and grabbed myself a pair aswell.
"Siobhan go sit by the window" I said and grabbed 2 bottles of vodka and some joints.
I also grabbed 2 lighters. I sat next to Siobhan and passed her a lighter, vodka and 2 joints.
"Why do you have a bedside table full of vodka and weed but it's not in your own bedroom"
She asked lighting up her joint.
"Well I've been at autumn for the past couple days I think nearly a week now and I don't have the room to keep it in my bag so it put it in here because autumn doesn't use this room and she found me in here last night and didnt ask why the weed and that was in here" after I said this I lit my joint.

1 hour later
We were both now drunk and stoned after 2 joints each and 2 bottles of vodka.
We were both also now talking and laughing quite loud so when we the front door opened we didn't hear it.
We both carried on laughing then we got bored and decided to go downstairs. Thinking autumn was still asleep and Viv was still out.
Me and Siobhan stumbled downstairs and went to the living room and saw our girlfriends sat on the sofa staring at us.
"So why are you to drunk or stoned or both" Viv asked.
"Well I had a dream about roger and I didn't know what to do so I cut myself then I went to the bathroom to sort myself out then Charlotte was in the bathroom also hurting herself so we both sat in the bathroom talking for abit then we cleaned eachothers cuts then we went to the spare bedroom and we smoked and drank a lot" Siobhan said slurring half of her words.
I just giggled at her.
"Char come here" my girlfriend said to me and I stumbled over. Viv also said the same to Siobhan who practically fell on her.
"Char why did you hurt yourself again" autumn asked quietly but the others still heard.
"When I heard the front door shut when I'm guessing Viv left I thought of roger I don't know why but I had a panic attack and I wanted to cut but my arms were bandaged and I couldn't be bothered to take the bandages off so I did it on my thighs I'm sorry I'm so so sorry please don't leave me autumn please" I begged because the only ways I knew how to cope was cutting, drinking and smoking.
"It's okay baby I won't leave you and if you ever feel like hurting yourself please come too me instead of hurting now come on let's go back to bed" she said to me and I stood up.
"Viv do you need any help with getting Siobhan back upstairs" I heard autumn ask.
"No I'll be fine thank you tho" Vivian said and stood up with Siobhan in her arms. I was then carried upstairs by autumn and she put me in bed and I was cuddled up to her. That's all I remember before I went to sleep.