For Me,There Is Only You |18+|

39. Consuming Loneliness

Even though I had decided to make the shadow my ally, the task was proving to be far more difficult than I'd imagined.

For weeks, I tried reaching out to it, speaking to the darkness that I knew was there, lurking inside me. I could feel its presence, cold and indifferent, watching and listening to everything around us.

But no matter how much I called out, it never bothered to respond.

It was ignoring me.

Purposefully.

Deliberately.

In the end, I gave up. What was the point of trying to communicate with something that clearly wanted nothing to do with me?

But despite my failure to connect with the shadow, its actions toward Master had left an indelible mark. The man who had once towered over me with arrogance and cruelty now approached me with caution.

I could see the fear in his eyes, a hesitance that hadn't been there before. Or maybe it was because of Mother—she had learned of what he did, and I overheard her warning him to stay away from me.

For the first time in what felt like forever, I was free to move around the facility again. But what was the point? Everywhere I went, I was met with silence and avoidance.

The other children, who had never truly interacted with me before, now avoided me like the plague. Their wariness had transformed into something else entirely—fear.

When I stood in line for food, they would scramble away, keeping their distance as if I were some sort of monster.

And then there was Mother's warning, her cold, calculating gaze fixed on me as she delivered it. "Don't talk to Malek, Ezra, or Phoebe," she had said, her voice devoid of warmth. "Unless you want them to be punished again."

Punished.

I had overheard Master talking about it, how they had been punished after I was caught. The thought of it twisted something deep inside me, a pang of guilt that I couldn't shake.

They had suffered because of me, because of my failure to escape.

Now, I would see them sometimes in the dining hall, our eyes meeting across the room. There was a silent understanding between us, a mutual caution that kept us from speaking.

We were all prisoners of this place, but now, more than ever, it felt like I was truly alone.

.

.

.

.

I had thought that having the shadow inside me would make things easier. But that was a foolish thought. If anything, my life became even more brutal.

Mother was furious—furious that despite everything, I still couldn't communicate with the shadow, let alone control it. And as punishment, she made my training even more grueling.

Every day, I was forced to fight a new monster that Master had created, each one more vicious than the last. The battles were brutal, leaving me with fresh wounds and bruises that seemed to multiply with every passing day.

The injuries were getting worse. I knew it. My leg had been torn so badly this time that even Mother couldn't ignore it. She watched me with those cold, unfeeling eyes as I limped in, barely able to stand.