The upheaval in him after she leaves is more intense than the gradually building up triggered emotions that have brought him here in the first place. That he had hurt Malini and hadn't realized beyond the flashes of her playing in his mind feels like a bitter pill in his mouth and what makes it worse is the way she is suddenly present in every equation of him and Malini. What's worse is the way their forced marriage that he has nullified still haunts him, just like her presence that stands out to him does. Like a pull and push, fate's whims aided by her betrayal wield his strings, leaving him with a helplessness he has no one to share with, leaving him alone yet again. It makes him feel like he is 19 again, powerless in a situation to do anything but grieve while witnessing his family break even though the situation is not the same now. Yet he is still the same, every speck of grief, turbulence and anguish that rock his soul attempting to get buried within him because that has always been his coping mechanism.
If she had just let him die, things would have been less complicated. Or maybe he is just selfish in wishing it, in wishing an escape from the gunk of a storm maligning him that he hasn't been able to clean himself of, in the face of his family finally coming together. He hadn't asked for any of this. All he has wanted is a calm, tranquil life with the only woman who has truly been his friend. All he has wanted is comfort in familiarity, in understanding so one day he can lay bare the pains he has never voiced out and finally feel free, finally feel whole. All he has wanted is a cultivated bond of trust in this love he and Malini have built, different from his parents so it won't precariously hang at the edge, a sorrow they couldn't mitigate silencing the need of a balm their young son craved after his world tumbled and which he hadn't received, leaving him with only himself to help put his soul back. All he has wanted is this yet this appalling game that has been played with him has put everything in jeopardy, mercilessly pushing him to a chaos he is so damn afraid of and he does not know what to do, except express his hurt and anger at the one person responsible for this- Imlie!
He does not fault her for saving his life but he blames her for the betrayal that forced his hand, the blackmail that had him marry her while all his promises were already bound to Malini. She was the only one who knew about Malini and she had relayed that information to her grandmother knowingly, like forcing them into this bound would ease the path to her dreams and that is what has hurt him the most. Because he had thought she was good and unique and different and a genuine friend but all he had been reduced to in her eyes was an object to use. He ignores his heart that still pleads her innocence, acting like the devil's advocate, believing his mind's hasty conclusions because it is easier to believe in an illusion of someone's culpability than accept the truth of your perception being wrong.
In his eyes, she is at fault and for all her help and love for his family, he cannot forgive that moment where she chose her selfishness, binding his attempts to break the hut he was locked in and run away, binding his freedom to the mercy of her vile grandmother whose threat to hurt Malini by calling her from his phone and spinning a tale that will wreck havoc before he is anywhere near to stabilize it, halted any of his attempts to free them both because he still believes, despite her orchestrating that she does not want this too and this makes him even more angrier. She is at fault and she will be blamed for it, imparted a fraction of what he has been going through so she knows how she has hurt him! She is at fault and he will not let her hold him back in any sense, in moving towards the life has always wanted. With this, he walks from the terrace, intending to bring back the smile on Malini's face by making sure the ceremony goes well.
_
By the time Aditya steps out, dressed in a vibrant bottle green kurta to compliment Malini's outfit, a few guests have gathered to whom Malini is speaking to. He walks towards her and politely excuses them both from the ongoing conversation, smiling politely at the teasing even as he leads Malini aside to have a word.
"What is it Aditya?" she asks, a little curt and he lets out a sigh.
"I'm sorry Mun." he says gently cupping her face, sincerity in his eyes and words. It is enough to make her smile and forgive him.
"It's alright. Now let's go. The function is beginning"
He smiles and nods after which he passes the compliment politely, telling her she looks beautiful to which she smiles wider. It makes everything better between them, even if it is not the admiration of a lover and the blushing response of his muse.
_
She enters the hall where the function has just begun, wearing a pink churidar whose shade almost looks red with a golden dupatta. Choti Kaki had given her the outfit in the morning, wanting her to be just as well dressed as she has been in all the other functions of the marriage and once again, she hadn't been able to refuse. Placing the tray full of return gifts on the side table, she makes her way to the side, watching the ceremony. Seeing the genuine smiles on both Babusaheb and Didi's faces makes it evident to her that all's well between them. Relief courses through her at that and it commences the process of stitching herself back in her. This boulder that has her wounded and weak can only stall her for some time. It cannot completely stop her no matter how much her future seems bleak at this point because she will not allow it!
Love,
Pratyusha
YOU ARE READING
Lakeerein - Ties That Bind Us
Fanfic------ Can Be Read As General Fiction ------ One night. One event. Lives of two people altered completely. When Aditya Kumar Tripathi, Chief Executive Reporter at Bhaskar times stepped into Pagdandiya and met Imlie, he did not know how his life woul...
