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“have you ever caught a firefly?” she asked me one warm summer evening‚ as we sat on my front porch watching the fireflies flitting about in the dark.
“i don’t know‚” i replied‚ a little embarrassed.
“sometimes i feel like i’m searching for the perfect firefly — one that’s just the right color, or has just the right glow. but i’ve never found it. i’m not sure if i really even want to. i think i’m just searching for something to make me feel less alone.”
“sometimes i wonder if fireflies ever feel lonely‚” i pondered out loud.
“why would they?” she replied, with a puzzled look on her face.
“because they’re all alone in the dark,” i said. “they glow alone, & they flutter alone, & they’re never surrounded by other glowing orbs. don’t you think that would feel lonely?”
she seemed to think about it for a moment before she finally spoke. “i think it’s the opposite‚” she said.
“what do you mean?” i asked.
“I think fireflies might be the happiest creatures in the world. they glow on their own, instead of needing to absorb other creatures’ light. & they light up in the dark, which means they can see best in the most difficult times. fireflies are the opposite of loneliness. they’re the shining stars in the darkness.”
the words were ringing in my head — the opposite of lonely. they sounded right‚ yet somehow they didn’t make me feel any less alone. or any less sad. i think we all feel lonely sometimes. some days are worse than others, when you feel like you’re the only one in the world. in those moments, it’s hard to remember that there are others out there who’ve felt the same thing. those are the days when i wish i was a firefly. those are the days when i just want to glow.
