Destined by Chance

Chapter 18

'...how can anyone have confidence if one's self-respect is shredded strip by strip by everyone around her...tell me Neil', Simi's pain filled words haunted him. He shouldn't have said all of those things to her. Firstly, because he had no right and secondly, because he wasn't in that situation. It had been so easy for him to sit her down and lecture her. So easy to say the sermons. But would it have been as easy for him if he had been in the same situation. He wasn't sure.

She had woken up around seven and had appeared in the living room about another fifteen minutes later wearing a black and white tunic and black leggings. Her hair had been tied in a ponytail. At some point in the night Neil had opened the doors to her room just to make sure she was alright or he heard her if she needed help of any kind.

He himself had had a very restless night. He had just sat on the couch wondering about her situation. Then the weird situation that had landed them together. But he had done something else too, something he hadn't done in a long time, wonder about himself. His childhood, adulthood, his future. How had he described what he wanted from a girl who might be his life partner with such clarity? This was when he had never even contemplated the idea of getting married ever. What about his commitment issue? And he had thought long and hard. He knew where the desire to live alone stemmed from. The cause was rooted in his childhood. The reason were his parents. Their complex relationship, he had never been able to understand. And then of course several other relationships he had seen breaking through his life of thirty one years.

The bitterness that followed. The heartaches. The efforts to move on. Live like nothing had happened. He had paced the floor of the living room till the wee hours of the morning. All he had done was to come to the conclusion that he was better off. Not getting entangled in such affairs was the best policy. So why was he worried over Simi? He hadn't known her before yesterday. And he will go his way in another two. Then why had her words affected him? Why had her plight moved him? Why was it, that the insults meted out to her had angered him as if he could feel the pinch of them personally? There had been no answer. And finally he had gone off to sleep.

And then he had lectured Simi when she had woken up. He shouldn't have. He didn't reserve the right. And yet he had. She had for the first time argued back. Telling him to back off as he had no idea what he was talking about. And maybe she had been right. He really didn't have any idea how it felt to be rejected time and time again by strangers who knew nothing about her and for no other reason than either her choice of career or looks or way of life. Hadn't he told her that she was a beautiful person? That he would rather have someone who loved him unconditionally than just have beauty and no depth. Then how come he had suggested she changed the way she looked just a little. She was not a product on display.

He had been angry that she had been subjected as such and then he had gone ahead and told her exactly the same thing. Neil groaned out loud. Damn. She reserved the right to choose how she wanted to be. How would he feel if someone told him to change himself so others could view him the way they deemed fit? He would slap the person then and there. So why had he asked her to do the same? Because somewhere he knew, despite the fact that it was unfair, that women were viewed in no other light than that. Where every male in the animal kingdom had to prove his beauty and strength to gain approval of the female, in the human kingdom the roles were reversed. He shook his head. He will have to apologize to her. Tell her he hadn't meant to hurt her. It was just a bitter truth because that was how the human world was governed. If she did as he had said she would only benefit from it because she will find someone who would say yes to her and she could get married.

Even though the idea didn't sit well with him he decided to not think too much on it. As it is he was finding it hard to admit that the points he had listed for his probable life partner were the ones he had admired about her. He really needed to get a breather. With a storm ready to wreak havoc outside he had to stay inside and let some of the steam off. He decided to hit the gym for a while. Maybe releasing a bit of tension won't hurt anyone.

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