Destined by Chance

Chapter 28

Neil didn't know what to do.

She had caught him unawares. That was the only logical explanation he could give for how he had behaved last night. He had stayed up all night worried over her. Angry at himself for hurting her. If he cared so much as to what happened to her then why had he hurt her in the first place? If he didn't like her crying why had he broken her heart? And she had been right. He was scared. Scared of making mistakes. The same mistakes his parents had made. His friends had made. He was scared of committing and then not being able to live up to it. He was scared he would make wrong choices. And so he had gone ahead and shattered the beauty they had shared last night.

The problem was he did care. He did like her. And way more than he had admitted to even himself. Those kisses weren't born out of lust or loneliness or drunken state. They had meant something to him. Each time. He had felt something alien flutter inside him. It had been beautiful. She had been beautiful. She was beautiful. If he had had any doubts they had long since vanished. Maybe he had known it since the beginning or maybe he had figured it out in the course of time they had spent together. It didn't matter when. He had so blatantly told her she was looking for another man to marry and had felt the weight of every word hit him ten times over. But she hadn't found any, came the answer. Wasn't that what she had told him? She had fallen in love with him. Him. And he had rejected her outright. How much would that have hurt her? The one time she had liked someone and been bold enough to tell him she had been rejected. He had cursed himself at his insensitivity. But he wasn't in love with her. What was love really? He had always thought of it as a state of mind. But he wasn't sure anymore. He doubted he had ever even known the answer. He couldn't bear her crying. He couldn't tolerate someone insulting her. He wanted her to smile and laugh. He wanted her to live her life the way she chose to. If this wasn't love then what was?

She had woken up around eight and then headed straight for a shower. When she had emerged from her room another half an hour later and he had felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Her eyes were swollen maybe not as red. She had neatly combed and tied her hair in a ponytail behind her head. She had been wearing a cream sweater and blue jeans with black sneakers. She had held her scarf and warm cap in her hands along with her bag. Her face was devoid of any makeup. But she still looked beautiful to him. Though the hollowness in her eyes had made his heart ache.

She had wished him a good morning and a merry Christmas. Then placed a small wrapped box on the dining table telling him it was his gift and she had forgotten to place it under the tree last night. But before she had left she had turned and given him a brave smile. 'You made me feel something I will always cherish Neil, I wish with all my heart that someday you find someone too who would make you feel the same way', those had been her words before she had left him alone in the room. He hadn't had a chance to say anything to her. She hadn't told him where she was going or for how long. Only thing he knew was her luggage was still in her room. Before he could take a breath the doorbell had rung. One of the hotel staff was there to hand him the photographs from last night. And Neil didn't know what to do.

He just stared at the two pictures he held in his hands. One was when they had stood together and gotten the picture clicked. Her eyes were shining with happiness and her smile was bright and generous. She looked so amazing in that dress. He remembered feeling the rightness of her beside him. The other snap was of them kissing under the mistletoe. He hadn't known someone had been clicking their photograph at the time. Not that it mattered. The moment had been captured perfectly.

And then every moment he had shared with her since the time she had arrived at the resort passed through his head as if he was viewing a kaleidoscope. He looked at the photographs again. And then his gaze went towards the little box she had kept on the table. His Christmas present. She had remembered to get one for him. He had one for her too. But Christmas presents were supposed to be opened together. '...you threw away the best thing that happened to you', the words he had yelled at Robbie resonated through his head. How was he any better? He had told Simi he wanted someone to love him unconditionally and she had. '...I understand', was all she had said to him. She hadn't blamed him. She hadn't screamed. So how could he let her go? How could he be the fool? How could he not give it at least a chance and see where it took him? It could work. There was a hundred percent probability of it. With the right person beside him a relationship could work as well. Only he hadn't believed in it before. But he wanted to now. 'It takes two to build a relationship', he recalled. She had said so. And the wisdom of those words penetrated the fog in his head. He raked a frustrated hand through his head. She was gone. Where? She hadn't left all that long ago. Maybe he could catch hold of her before she reached the gates of the resort. What had she said? She hated driving in the snow. With so much fallen snow roads might still be jammed. He quickly put the photographs in the envelope and left the suite with the key card.

Neil Roy Mackay was not known to be foolish. And he wasn't starting now.

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