To Be Your Curse

Chapter 12: Our Curses

Eventually, Mom gave up, her spirit broken by the constant rejection. She stopped trying so hard, retreating into herself, a shadow of the woman she once was. As for me, I was completely drained, my energy spent on trying to hold together a family that was already shattered beyond repair. The dream of having a happy, healthy family faded into the background. I had accepted our new reality-a reality where my only goal was to keep things from getting worse.

I tried to be there for both my mom and sister, balancing their needs as best as I could. But it was exhausting, a relentless tug-of-war that left me feeling like I was drowning in the weight of their expectations. Double-tasking every day, trying to be the glue that held us together, only drained me further, until I was a shell of the person I used to be.

As the years went by, Mom's distance became more palpable. It was as if she was slowly fading away, slipping further into her own world where neither Anna nor I could reach her. She stopped asking us how our day went, stopped noticing the little things that once mattered so much. It felt deliberate, like she was trying to sever the ties that connected us. I couldn't understand it. Was she doing it to protect herself from more pain? Or had she simply resigned herself to being alone?

Eventually, our interactions dwindled down to the bare minimum. She'd only speak to us when asking about our budget for the month, handing over whatever amount we requested without a second thought. It hurt-this transactional relationship that had replaced the bond we once shared-but I let it happen. I had no choice. Still, I never allowed myself to stop caring about her. Instead, I channeled my energy into looking after Anna, trying to fill the void Dad had left behind. Maren, too, did her best to step in as a sisterly figure, but despite our efforts, something fundamental was missing.

Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, life proved me wrong.

"What?" I frowned as soon as I stepped through the front door, barely having a moment to catch my breath before Anna confronted me. She looked as if she'd been waiting for me, her face pale, her breaths coming in heavy, uneven gasps like she was struggling to keep her emotions in check.

"What happened?" I asked, dropping my backpack to the floor and moving closer to her, concern tightening my chest.

"Mom..." she began, her voice trembling. "Mom said something... yesterday. I...got curious...searched her room ...found this."

Her words were disjointed, almost frantic, and I could see the fear in her eyes. She held out a crumpled piece of paper, its bottom torn off. My heart skipped a beat as I took it from her, the weight of whatever revelation it held pressing down on me. By this time, I was 17 and she was 15.

As I unfolded the paper, my breath caught in my throat. I recognized the handwriting immediately. My hands trembled as I read the first few words, my pulse quickening with each line.

"It's Dad," I whispered, my voice barely audible. The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. This wasn't just any letter-it was from him, and whatever it contained was something Mom had kept hidden from us.

The air in the room felt suffocating as I continued to read.

"Remember when we started dating, Bea? You used to say that I saved you. You'd call yourself lucky, saying you couldn't believe you'd found someone so kind and selfless. I always found it odd... I always felt guilty. I knew I was anything but selfless. I knew your curse and the kind of life you'd led, the pain you'd already endured. Yet, I lied to you because I wanted you. I lied about my curse.

You were always so cautious, cutting off anyone whose curse could spill over onto you. You didn't want to deal with anyone else's pain; your own was enough. I knew this, but I was so in love with you. I couldn't imagine life without you, so I lied. I told you I was cursed never to achieve my dreams, but that wasn't true. My curse is that I'm destined to betray those who rely on me the most... you and the kids."

I stopped reading, trying to collect my thoughts, my heart pounding in my chest. I glanced at Anna, who was already crying, her small frame trembling as she held her hands tightly together, trying to calm herself. Her sobs filled the room, echoing off the walls, and it tore me apart. I hated seeing her like this. I wished I had found the letter first-I'd have never let her read it. I sighed deeply, trying to clear my mind before continuing.

"Throughout our marriage, I never betrayed you. I stayed faithful. But I was tempted. There was an overwhelming urge to leave, to explore the world without you or the kids. I knew that one day, I wouldn't be able to resist that temptation, that I was destined to do something like this. But I wanted to stay as long as I could. I wanted to watch the kids grow, to grow old with you. I thought I could leave when it wouldn't matter anymore, but when you told me the news, everything changed. I couldn't stay. I didn't blame you, and I still love you, but I couldn't see our marriage as worth it anymore. I had to leave and live the life I wanted. I really am selfish. I'm sorry, Bea.

You didn't want to know the kids' curses-for your sake and theirs-but now that I'm gone, you have to know. Please, take this news well and do what you have to as their mom. Don't see them through the lens of their curses. Just love them.

Anna's going to need a strong personality, and I was trying to help her build that. Please pick up where I left off, because she's cursed to be physically abused."

My heart sank as I looked up at my younger sister, my hands trembling, barely able to hold the letter. The room seemed to spin around me as the gravity of Dad's words hit me. Anna-sweet, innocent Anna, who'd always been so small and delicate, with her long dark hair and soft voice, so much like Dad's. She's always been the kind of person who lights up a room with her presence, who goes out of her way to make others smile. She's caring, affectionate, and has always been the glue holding us together when things got tough.

Yet, her curse... her fate was to be physically abused? Someone was going to hurt her? People were going to lay hands on her? How many times? How bad would it get? The thought made me feel sick, my stomach churning with dread.

I could barely stand, my legs threatening to give way under the weight of it all. Anna didn't deserve this. No one did. And yet, it was written, sealed in our father's confession. The future felt like a dark, looming cloud, and all I could do was stare at my sister, wanting to protect her from a fate I had no power to change.

"A-are you done reading?", she asked, her voice cracked as she looked at me.

The sentence trailed off, the rest of the note torn away, leaving me in a swirl of confusion and unease. I lifted my gaze from the jagged edge of the paper and looked at Anna. Her face, still tear-streaked, suddenly held an expression that made my stomach churn-guilt, perhaps even something darker.

"Anna, where's the rest?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, though my heart was pounding in my ears. I stepped closer to her, driven by a mix of curiosity and rising concern. "Why did Dad leave his savings to me?"

"Enjoy it," she responded, her voice trembling as she wiped away her tears. She took a step back, as if my presence was unbearable to her, and my confusion deepened. "We both need to enjoy our lives before our curses catch up to us," she continued, her tone laced with guilt and regret. "I promise I'll be strong and learn to protect myself, so don't worry about me."

Her words only intensified the confusion swirling inside me. "Why are you talking like this?" I frowned, reaching out to her, but she moved back again, as if I were something toxic, something she needed to distance herself from. "Anna, what's wrong with you? Why are you avoiding me? I don't get it," I said, my voice tinged with desperation.

"We have a painful future ahead of us," she said softly, the sadness in her voice cutting through me like a knife. "Like the present isn't bad enough."

"Yeah, but it's fine. We'll have each other," I tried to reassure her, though my own uncertainty was creeping into my words.

"No, Cassiel. No," she whispered, her voice heavy with sorrow. "I don't want to have to deal with any more than I have to." Her words were like a sledgehammer to my heart, and I could feel the foundation of everything I believed in begin to crumble. I knew where this was going, but I didn't want to accept it. "You shouldn't have to bear watching me go through my curse, and I don't want to bear watching you either."

***A/N: Sorry, Cassiel's backstory is really taking it's time but it's important for the story's developments/ to understand his behavior later on. Though, not much is left of it so don't worry, we'd be seeing more of him and Aaliyah pretty soon. Enjoy!<3***