Madison realizes that she definitely screwed things up when Michael doesn't come back for a whole week. He doesn't answer his phone either of course, no matter how many messages she sends him or how many times she calls him.
It's late, Madison is off work tomorrow, so she sits on the kitchen floor with a bottle of wine. There's something very calming about doing that, it's like the world stops spinning as long as she doesn't get up. Madison misses Michael. She misses his scent that is already fading from her pillow, she misses how he always leaves the toothpaste on the sink, she misses picking up his games from the floor before she steps on them. She misses hearing him sing quietly when he cooks or washes the dishes, she misses his stupid smirk and his soft body. She misses everything about Michael so much and the wine makes her head fuzzy and her vision blurry, so she grabs her phone and dials again. When the voicemail answers again, she sighs and begins to speak.
"Michael, it's me again. For the 50th time, I know. Listen, I'm drunk as fuck and I'm cold. It's so cold because you're not here to mock my poor cooking skills. It's cold because your smile isn't here to warm my heart and you're not here to warm my body. It's cold because I know I fucked up, I fucked up so bad but please don't give me the silent treatment anymore. Please just let me know that you're okay, I'm so worried about you when you're not here. Please. I know I'm a control freak, I know I'm a messed up person. I'm sorry. I understand that you don't wanna hang out here anymore, but please just tell me that you're okay. Fuck this, I'm really drunk. Anyway, yeah... sorry I'm such a mess, I've been through a lot but that's not your fault. Please be okay."
She hangs up before Michael could hear the sob that's climbing up in her throat; she pushes the phone away as far as possible and leans her head against the oven.
Madison is close to falling asleep on the floor when her phone vibrates and she stretches to get it. When she realizes that it's a text from Michael, her heart almost bursts out of her chest.
"I'm okay."
That's all. Nothing about how she shouldn't drink so much, not even a little joke to show her that they'll be okay. Madison scrambles on her feet, knocks over the almost empty bottle on her way and doesn't bother wiping up the mess. She crawls into her cold and empty bed, wraps herself in the heavy blanket and shuts her eyes. Of course her head is spinning and she feels like throwing up, but she can't gather the energy to get up and walk to the toilet. Her body is too heavy to move.
Two weeks pass until Madison can't do it anymore. She needs to see Michael; she needs to talk to him. She used to be very okay with living on her own, she liked that her place was only hers without any trace of somebody else. However, ever since Michael had begun to scatter his things around everywhere, it's like the apartment is complete. It makes so much more sense to have two toothbrushes on the cupboard and two mugs in the sink at all times. It makes so much more sense to share this place that is so holy to her with somebody else. Madison only realized what's been missing all along when it was gone again. Now it just makes her sad to see the last traces Michael left behind, things like his stupid console and his shirts and shoes. Things like his notebooks and drawings and pencils. Madison can't look at it all anymore without tearing up, so in the heat of the moment she grabs her keys, gets into her car and drives to Luke's. She doesn't care about how scary this boy is, and she doesn't think about what he's gonna do when she shows up. He seems to be the only one who can help, which is sad enough.
Her hands begin to shake when she arrives in front of his door, and they shake when she rings the bell. Her stomach is churning but all she has in mind is finally finding Michael.
All of her courage goes down the drain when nobody opens, so she turns around to leave again. It was a fucking stupid idea in the first place, what was she thinking?
Madison is almost at the stairs when she hears a familiar voice behind her.
"What the fuck do you want?"
She turns around slowly to find Calum standing in the hallway. He squints at her suspiciously, his hands on his hips. He wears a loose flannel, black shorts and no shoes. His hair is a mess like she woke him up from a nap. Madison doesn't have the time to think of a proper excuse, so she blurts out the truth.
"I haven't seen Michael in two weeks. We had a fight, I punched him in the face and he left. He's gone and I'm so worried, he doesn't answer his phone either and I just want to apologize and tell him that I'm sorry..."
Her voice trails off and Calum's eyes widen.
"You punched him in the face? What did he do?"
Of course that's what he heard best, so Madison sighs.
"He poured me some truth tea and I kinda didn't want to hear that I'm a bitter, scared person, so I smacked him on the cheek and he left, logically."
Calum suddenly smirks and waves at her to come in.
"I need to hear more about this, wow. Come on, I have beer."
"I shouldn't drink so much" Madison tries to squirm out of the situation, but he won't let that excuse count.
"You can have some of Luke's super healthy tea then, let's go."
Ten minutes later, Madison finds herself sitting on the very expensive looking couch, a mug of fancy tea in her hands. Calum is sitting across from her with a beer, waiting for her to speak. When she doesn't, he places the bottle on the coffee table.
"I have one question: What is it that you see in Michael? I lived with him for a while and I honestly don't understand why you run after him like he's some treasure or something."
Madison frowns because she didn't expect that question. He doesn't sound mean either, which puts her off as well.
"What do you mean, you don't understand? Have you ever made the effort of actually talking to him? Have you watched him draw and noticed how his eyes light up and he's so focused because he puts everything into his work? Have you ever caught him writing a song in the kitchen at 4am because he can't sleep before he spills out all his thoughts on a piece of paper? Have you ever heard him perform these songs? It's like he shows you a whole new world when he sings about all the crap he's experienced. Honestly, have you even cared a tiny bit about him at all? I'm sure he has his bad sides, we all do, so what makes you so different that you can sit here and ask me what I see in him? I see a boy who struggles to not drown in this big ass city because both his boyfriend and flat mate kicked him out and left him all by himself. I see a boy who tries so hard to make his dreams come true that he'd rather not eat anything for a month instead of getting a job he wouldn't like. I see a boy who wants to be happy, nothing else. How can you blame him for that?"
Madison takes a breath, and Calum only stares at her. Her words hang over their heads like a cloud and in that moment they both realize it.
"You love that kid." Calum finally concludes and leans back, "wow."
Author's note:
Please let me know what you think about this okay cool thanks!
