Spirit Mother - Twilight Saga

chapter 22

The next few months went by quite fast.

I spent most of my time with Leah, Seth and Jacob, so I didn't have to be around Paul and Rachel. Of course, we kept up appearances and neither of us could stay away from each other a lot, so every now and then we both appeared at pack dinners, and trainings. We haven't talked much ever since Bella giving birth. We never said sorry to each other either.

Sam and I put all of our differences aside finally, and were acting like loving siblings again. Which was why he was worried about my situation with Paul.

"I know it's a weird situation, but you can't punish him for you not seeing him that way!"

I shook my head.

"I just don't want to make it even weirder. Think about what Rachel would feel like if me and Paul were constantly together?"

"Rachel's not Paul's girlfriend" reminded Sam "they're just..."

"Just?" I asked skeptically.

"Paul's heart not in it."

"How do you know?"

"I hear his thoughts, remember?"

I sighed.

"Why are you telling me this, Sam?"

"Because I think you're jealous. And I think you're stopping yourself from giving into Paul for some foolish stubborn reason."

I shook my head violently.

"I'm still waiting for-"

"It's fine if you're dishonest with me, but at least don't lie to yourself. It's been months. When was the last time you thought about Alex?"

"Just last night" I shrugged.

"Okay... when was the last time you thought about him romantically?"

I gulped. Months ago.

My last months have been like hell for some reason. I was lost, I was overwhelmed, I was confused and overall feeling down. I even went to Alice and Carlisle, trying to find out if it was some supernatural bullshit. I felt grey. Sadly, I had to admit... thinking about Alex was the least of my concerns. And suddenly I hated myself for it.

"I... I just haven't seem him for so long!"

"He made a decision, Nika, and you have to accept it."

"He doesn't know what he's talking about! He's still a newborn."

"He is... and he's going to be for a while. His mind is immaculate, though. Especially if he's fed properly. And the Denalis don't starve him, I assume."

Deep down I knew he was right. I didn't forget about Alex, I couldn't. I missed him. But as more and more time passed, I realised it wasn't his kisses or his embrace that I missed. It wasn't the way he held my hand. It was his constant presence that I had by my side ever since I was a kid (except for when I went away to boarding school). It was his friendship that I missed more.

I wanted to say something else, but my phone buzzed. It was Alice.

"Alice?"

"We have a problem."

======••••••======

"So Renesmee's existence is illegal?" I asked, as the Cullens explained the situation. Why couldn't we have simple things in life, like a child? No, it had to be complicated, of course.

"No! I gave birth to her!" Protested Bella fiercely.

"I know honey, I remember. Quite the memory" I said.