Paper House • C. York

•T W E L E V E•

CAM'S POV
I sighed, staring up at my ceiling fan, watching the blades turn. Obviously I fucked up, I really shouldn't have been talking about Julia while she was here. It was quiet, I was so quiet. I was so sure she was asleep.

Since Julia was supposed to be here today I have no plans. Since I have no plans I have resorted to rotting away in bed.

But I fucked it all up. She's probably calling her sister right now, talking shit about me, plotting my downfall. I wish I could do something, say something. I just want to go back to where we were. Everything was going so well. I actually considered Julia a friend, I really did enjoy her presence. Something about her just made me happy.

I sighed once more, hearing my phone vibrate next to me on my bed.

Jamie 🍆
Get out of bed and get ready for the day. We've got a mandatory workout in three hours. Im picking you up so be ready.

Cam🐖
Fine.

"Fucking hell." I groaned, running my hands through my hair. Last night had been a sleepless night, just after I had the absolute best sleep of my life. The best sleep of my life with Julia next to me.

I sighed again, trying to gather the motivation to get my ass out of bed and eat. I rolled over, using minimal energy and effort. Life really does suck today. Something deep down has broken inside of me, and in one breath I'm transported back to that hotel room in downtown Philly, on the phone with John Beecher.

"Cam this is the fifth time you've called me." John paused. "And you've been in Philly for a day."

"Ok so sue me, I'm struggling with being away from the guys." I sighed, pulling yet another pair of black shorts out of my suitcase.

"Away from the guys?  Really Cam?" John groaned.

"Yeah, away from the guys." I trailed off.

"Sure Cam, sure." John sighed. "Or, do you maybe miss Jordy, like you've been saying since you left."

"Whatever John." I sighed.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just saying you need to embrace it. Let yourself accept it." John shrugged. "I think it could be good for you."

"Maybe." I shrugged.

"Let yourself be sad bro, just don't lose yourself in the process." John nodded.

Maybe I should start listening to John. Because, to be honest, I know I don't miss Julia, I miss how much she reminded me of Jordy. I miss what she was to me.

I groaned and rolled over, my head dragging behind my body as I exerted minimal energy. I swung my feet onto the floor, dragging my upper body into a seated position. I looked around the loft of my apartment, noticing a few things out of place, out of place from her.

I threw my head back, drawing in a deep breath as I dragged my hands through my hair, my nails soothingly scratching my scalp. Just like Julia did. Jordy never did that for me, she never played with my hair. But Julia did.

I shook my head, putting my hands down and trying to get the thoughts of her out of my mind. Maybe if I just let go of the thoughts I'll forget about Julia, forget about Jordy, forget about what I did. Just let it go.

I stood up, walking towards my bathroom. I grabbed my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it. As I started brushing my teeth I walked towards the shower, turning the water to cold, hoping it would wake me up and knock some sense into my mind and body. I leaned back out of the shower, going to spit in the sink when something caught my eye in the corner.

A t-shirt was balled up and thrown in the corner, out of place. I never change in the bathroom, I always change in my closet, so there would be no reason for me to leave a shirt in the bathroom, especially when the hamper is right through my closet doors, just feet away. I grabbed it, going to throw it in the hamper when I caught a familiar scent.

It smelled clean and fresh, like clean laundry but better. And then it hit me.

Julia.

That's what Julia smells like.

And then I lost all motivation to forget about them, about her.

JULIA'S POV
"He did what?" Piper screeched, standing over me while I wallowed in my bed.

"I already told you-." I started, my words coming out broken and sob-filled.

"No I know exactly what you said, what he did. He's driving me nuts right now." Piper halfway screamed.

I stayed silent, filtering out every word she said. My eyes focused forward as I drifted into nothingness. Absolute nothingness. I didn't want to feel anymore, all these feelings are overwhelming me, making me want to just shut down.

How could I have let myself fall for his games.

Jordy hadn't told me much about him when they dated, probably because I was just her kid sister, just a middle schooler, then high schooler, but I was a senior when they broke up. I wish she would've talked to me. I know she was a sophomore in college at the time and she probably felt a whole lot older than me, but she wasn't, she isn't. That's the one thing I'll never understand about Jordy, she always has this sense of protection over Jesse and I. We are her younger siblings, but it goes deeper than that. She watches over us with an extreme eagle eye, she wants us to go out, drink, party, have a good time, but she wants us to know our limits. She's the kind of sister who would bail you out of jail and not tell your parents, but would also give you an extreme talking to in the car.

Which is why I don't understand what she said to me.

"Then keep your fucking mouth shut, and your legs."

Then she hung up on me. And we haven't talked since.

Looking back I wish she had told me, warned me, something. Feeling like this and not having my sister to reach out to about it sucks. She always knew what to say, how to make me feel better, teaching me to be better.

"Because what the fuck man!" Piper screamed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I sniffled, not having realized I was crying.

"You weren't listening?" Piper asked.

I nodded, resting my head against my pillows.

"Well that might be a good thing, considering I just cussed him out in many, uh, colorful ways." Piper chuckled.

"I guess." I shrugged, watching my ceiling.

"Well, get out of bed. We're going out tonight." Piper grinned.

"I don't want to." I sighed.

"Yes you do." Piper smiled, pulling my arms.