Blood is falling | Slytherin boys

Chaos in the mirror

We arrive back to hogwarts and I can't help but wonder what could happen tonight. What if Jackson talks to me again, what if something happens with him? Of course I'm not going to say no to a party but I just have this feeling that something isn't going to end right. 

I walk to my dorm and say goodbye to the others before I head off to get ready, as well as them but obviously they won't take too long. 

"Also Y/n, don't bring any drinks, we have a lot so you can share ours." Tom says

I smile and close my door, leaving me by myself. Leaving me with a looming feeling in the back of my mind. Why can't I ever get away from Jackson, at least I thought he would leave me alone, even when we go to the same schools now, I thought he would stop. Stupid of me to think that. And now all of the memories come back.

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The time he locked me in his bathroom for hours so I couldn't see my friends, the way he would hit me whenever i made a mistake, how he would beat me until I was bleeding and bruising and limp on the floor. How he would threaten to kill me and anyone I ever spoke to if I broke up with him. I hate him, but finally I gained enough courage to leave him, cause I lost everyone because of him, my friends and even myself. But because of that, the only person he could hurt was me, so I left him, not caring what happens. But now i'm stuck here with him, why am I so unlucky, why does this happen to me? Haven't I already been through enough? Why did I have to go through even more! 

I feel a salty tear run down my left cheek. That's when I let it out. I let the tears keep falling until my head hurts. My eyes sting and I can feel rage build up in my chest, I just wanted to scream, I wanted to scream so loud that every second I waited to, my throat hurt even more and more. I can feel the desire coming, this desire couldn't be fixed by just a cigarette. I needed to scream, internally. 

I stumbled over to my desk drawer, and opened it up to reveal a shiny silver blade. My best friend. I haven't cut myself for a while, but I guess everything has just built up. I'm just so scared of him, so scared of what I heard Tom and Mattheo talking about yesterday, so scared of myself. I run into the bathroom and start cutting. I try to not go deep and just cut multiple small slits across my arm until it stung enough. My tears dropped into my cuts and made them burn as the blood seeped out from them. I know cutting is bad, but sometimes it's the only thing that can really release all the pain inside at once.

After a few minutes of sitting on the cold, tiled bathroom floor, I get myself up and run cold water over my arm, I wince at the sting of the water falling onto the freshly painted cuts. I splash my face with water and wash out my eyes. 

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I go to my wardrobe and pick out something nice to wear tonight. I'm going to forget about everything tonight and have fun. I pick out a short dress with long sleeves and sexy cutouts in it. I turned to the mirror and admired my figure, my ass looks nice, my boobs look amazing and I can't wait to have fun. I add some nice shoes and a shiny, small necklace. I sit down at my table and start to do my hair and makeup. 

As i'm just finishing up I hear a knock at my door.

"You almost ready?" Theo bangs on the door

"Yeah, just a sec" I shout back

I get up, wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror one more time before I head out. I open up the door and my gaze meets with Theo's. I see his gaze look me up and down before he speaks.

"W-wow you look nice" He smiles at me, me smiling back.

"Shit I forgot my weed" I laugh and turn around to open my dorm before theo stops me.

"Already got some" He waves a packet of freshly rolled cigarettes in my face.

The other boys walk up behind him and laugh.

I see some of them look me up and down as well, however Mattheo's eyes were going crazy, what is up with that boy?

"You boys alright?" I laugh at them, there faces blushing up.

"Come on guys lets go!" I shout grabbing Draco and enzo's hand, skipping with them in front of the group.

We arrive at the ravenclaw common room, music booming loud already with tons of people already there. The air was thick with laughter and the sweet scent of smoke, creating an atmosphere of carefree revelry. I swayed slightly to the music, a drink in hand, as Draco and Lorenzo exchanged amused glances, keeping a watchful eye on me. 

I settled into a plush armchair, surrounded by my friend, They passed around a small, ornate box filled with weed, the sweet aroma mingling with the scent of pumpkin pasties. Draco leaned back, a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he teased Lorenzo about his latest failed attempt at flirting with a Hufflepuff. 

"You'd have better luck charming a broomstick!" he quipped, causing everyone to burst into laughter. 

Mattheo chimed in, recounting a particularly embarrassing moment when Tom had accidentally hexed his own hair bright pink during a duel. I couldn't help but giggle, feeling a warm sense of belonging. As the jokes flew back and forth, I realized how much I cherished these moments—their friendship and shared mischief. Theo, finally cracked a smile, adding a witty remark that had them all in stitches. 

I quickly get up and go to the table where all of the drinks are.  I lean against the cool stone wall, the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses echoing around me as I grab a nearly empty bottle of vodka whhich felt heavy, the last few sips swirling like my thoughta, cloudy and disjointed. Why am I so sad when i'm alone? The vibrant party seemed a world away as I watch my friends mingle, their faces bright with joy, glancing a few looks at me eveyr now and then to make sure i'm okay, while I felt an overwhelming sense of isolation. Each sip brought a fleeting warmth, but it quickly faded, leaving behind a hollow ache. I had come to the party hoping to escape my worries, but now, surrounded by revelry, I felt more alone than ever. The laughter of my classmates echo in my ears, a stark reminder of the connection I craved but couldn't grasp. My heart aches as I take another swig, the burn of the vodka offering a momentary distraction. As the world around me blurred, I close my eyes, hoping to drown out the loneliness that seemed to seep into my very bones, longing for a lifeline in the chaos.

"Nice ass" A random ravenclaw walks passed me and says smirking. 

This isn't the kind of attention I meant. And I guess Tom sees me and can tell I'm feeling uncomfortable. He walks away from who he's talking to, drink in hand and walks up to me and this boy. 

"Keep on moving" He says sturnly, gesturing for the boy to leave.

The boy puts his hands up and steps back, walking away without saying a word. I thank tom and he tells me to be careful before walking away back into the crowd, leaving me alone again. At least I had the boys to protect me, for now. I continue mixing random drinks together and finishing them in minutes. The world goes blurrier and I start to feel good and confident. I walk over to theo who is trying to talk to a different girl this time. I show him my cupped hands, signaling for a ciggarette. He rolls his eyes and lets out a small giggle before placing the weed in my hands, I thank him as he lights it, alreayd placed in my mouth.

I take a puff and move around the room to try and find someone I know, but not before I grab another drink, I grab a cup and pour some canadian club into it mixed with a small amount of ginger ale, and then I go and find someone to talk to. I see Astoria greengrass and grin, running up to her. She's in my caring for magical creatures class.

"Hey girl" She says with a smile as she sees me walking over to her.

"Heyyy, you wanna hit?" I ask, holding out my ciggarette.

"Of course I do" She take it from my hand and has a few puffs before handing it back.

"Shit, that's some strong weed, where the hell did you find that?" She laughs.

"Theo" I grin.

"Well tell him i say thank you, this is some good shit."