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Impatiently, I press the phone to my ear, listening to each ring echo in my chest until it cuts to voicemail. Frustrated, I suck my teeth and redial, my fingers tense. The ringing starts again, each one pulling at the last bit of hope I've got left.
It's getting late, and I know they'll shut down the phone lines soon. I hate that it's been so long since I last called. I wasn't expecting her to be waiting by the phone, but now that I'm finally ready, she's not answering.
Come on, pick up, baby.
Just as I start to lose hope, I hear her.
"Hello?" Amarie's voice finally answers, soft and uncertain, like she's not sure if it's really me on the other end.
My chest tightens, and I close my eyes, leaning my head back against the cold concrete wall. The sound of her voice cuts through me, raw and familiar. "Baby," I exhale, my voice low, almost shaky. "I'm sorry."
There's a brief silence, the kind that feels like it's stretching on forever, and then I hear her start to cry. The sound is fragile, and it shatters something inside me. "Chris... I miss you so much," She sobs, her voice breaking between the words. Each tear-filled word feels like a punch to my gut. I can picture her now, wiping her puffy eyes.
I grip the receiver tighter, hating myself for being the reason she's hurting like this. "I know, baby. I miss you too... more than you'll ever know." My voice cracks, but I push through. I need her to feel how sorry I am and how much I want to fix everything, even if I'm stuck here and helpless.
Her crying grows quieter, but I can still hear the pain in her voice. "It's been so hard without you, Chris," She whispers, her voice trembling. "Everything feels like it's falling apart."
"I know," I whisper, my throat tight with guilt. "I promise I'm gonna make it right. I swear, baby."
The weight of everything I've put her through and everything that's crumbled since I've been locked away settles on my shoulders. But for now, all I can do is hold onto the sound of her voice and hope it's enough to keep us both going.
"How are you?" Amarie sniffles, her voice fragile, like she's barely holding it together.
"I'm okay. Don't worry about me, baby. How are you?" I ask, trying to steady my voice, though the weight of everything pressing down on me makes it challenging.
"I'm not okay, Chris. I won't be until I know you're going to be okay." Her words hit me hard, and I hear the exhaustion, the fear in her voice.
I sigh, running a hand over my face. "I need you to be strong for me, baby. Hold it down while I'm in here. Can you do that for me?" I pause, trying to keep my voice steady. "I know it's hard right now, but I need you to stay strong."
"I'm trying," She whispers, her breath shaky. "Hearing your voice... it makes me feel so much better. You have no idea."
"Same here, mama. You have no clue." I pause, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry I crashed out."
