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| Day 147 out of 3652 | Days left until Chris' hearing: 49 |
They say when fear arises, it's because you're on the verge of overcoming an obstacle. But right now, it didn't feel like I was about to overcome anything. Fear was settling into my bones, heavier than any weight I'd ever carried. El Diablo's words echoed in my head like a dark promise, each reminder tightening the grip around my throat. I'd stepped into something I wasn't prepared for, and now, every choice felt like it was leading me down a path I couldn't turn back from.
I'd always been good at handling pressure, and surviving when the odds were stacked against me, but this was different. It wasn't just my life on the line. If I messed up, if I couldn't keep up with his demands, there'd be no mercy, no second chances. And I couldn't shake the thought of Krystal, of what she'd go through if something happened to me. This wasn't just about the deals or the secrets. It was about protecting everyone I loved from a storm I'd accidentally pulled us into.
I kept telling myself that maybe fear was the spark that would light my strength, that I'd find a way to climb out. But each day with El Diablo's name weighing on my chest, I felt myself sinking a little deeper.
The fear wasn't of El Diablo himself, or even his wife; it was the weight of everything they could take from us. The thought of them cutting down someone without a second thought, unaware of the lives they'd shatter in the wake.
My plan had always been simple: stack enough cash, and invest in something legit, something that'd promise Krystal a safe, and clean future. With Dominic, that plan would've been within reach. But now, twisted up in El Diablo's deals and pushing his product, that dream felt like a distant memory, slipping further away daily.
I barely had time to catch my breath before there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door. "Hey, baby, everything okay?" Momma J's soft voice echoed from the other side of the door. I swallowed hard, fighting back the lingering panic. I didn't want her to see me like this, but no matter how hard I tried to hide it, the cracks were showing.
"Yeah... I'm about to come out," I managed, my voice barely steady. Taking one last swipe at the tears streaming down my face, I forced myself to stand up off the bathroom floor. When I opened the door, Momma J's face fell, the worry deepening when she saw my puffy eyes.
"Oh, sweetheart," She whispered, pulling me into a hug before I could stop her. I let myself sink into the warmth of her embrace, the only safe place left in my life right now. "You gonna tell me what's got you like this?" She asked, her voice gentle but firm. I nodded, hesitating.
Momma J led me to the kitchen and sat me down, grabbing two cold bottles of water. She slid one over to me, then reached for my hand, squeezing it, her eyes steady and warm.
She gave me a nod. "Whenever you're ready, baby."
I took a shaky breath, feeling the words stick in my throat. "Momma...before I say this, please understand. I'd get it if... if you wanted nothing to do with me after I tell you this."
