ଘ ⱮąϚҠƐᎠ ଓ | hyunin

28

Jeongin was waiting for Felix at the gates for the promised coffee. As usual, he rushed out of class to avoid the human traffic but he regretted it as he stood there waiting for his friend. It was awkward, but more than anything he was really out of his comfort zone due to the fact that he dressed different from his usual school aesthetic. His dark attire attracted a shit ton of attention from noisy students and classmates who never in the three years witnessed Jeongin wearing anything darker than blue denim. Many assumed he was hitting a depressed era and asked too many questions about it. They annoyed him to the bone.

Since meeting Hyunjin, the younger started pretending less. He notices he didn't fake his smile nearly as much, and didn't care about being nice to every living soul. He started rejecting people more, and overall was bothered less. Him wearing a black hoodie today was a bet from the older who dared to say that Jeongin wouldnt be able to last a school day in it, because "you just care too much of what others think of you" in his annoying teasing voice, and Jeongin couldn't resist proving him wrong. However, he realized he played right into his plan.

Truly, Jeongin looked up to the elder, envied him even. They both had awkward social upbringings, angsty teens disliked by the crowd, but they handled it like hell and heaven. Jeongin turned into a complete people pleaser while Hyunjin protected his peace. The elders authenticity has been influencing him a lot, pushing his boundaries and he felt himself molding back into himself. He is now exercising more, eating healthier, and he doesn't remember the last time he texted Minho for a new puff. In a way, Hyunjin was healing him.

"Hello? Earth to Jeongin?" The younger snapped out of his trance, seeing that Felix was already beside him.

"Oh hi. Yeah, I'm here now. Let's go." Felix interlinked their hands as the two got a move on to the coffee shop near the school. Their chat at first was just mundane things. Felix complained about his teacher having bad hearing, Jeongin talked about the project. They both made jokes about Minho and Jisung already being a married couple, and then Jeongin brought up the fact that they've been seeing Chan and Changbin less recently.

"Did something happen between you two? I've been getting that kind of vibe." The younger said honestly.

"Um, about that..." Felix visibly stiffened, his gaze falling on the ground where he fixated on how their feet walked in perfect sync. "He's sort of mad at me right now."

Jeongin hummed in confirmation, but stayed quiet to encourage Felix to keep talking. The pseudo-couple has had a long history that he himself didn't know much about, but one thing he knew was that Felix experienced love at first sight with the elder, despite never being into guys previously. Changbin was a bit indifferent towards him at first, but as time went on he definitely fell harder for the younger male. Everyone knew they were head over heels for each other, but never mentioned the missing title.

"The other day he asked me what I think of us, and I said he was my best friend. We got into an argument over that, but Jeongin, that's not what I wanted to say! I know I messed up, and that I should've been honest about how I feel. I don't think of him as just a friend, far from it." Felix used his spare hand to cover his eyes, embarrassed over the fact that he was tearing up simply venting about it. "I know what my feelings for him are, I'm not in denial of it. I like him so so so so much. Hell! I might be in love with him! So why,"

The boys stopped their walk, Felix pulling his hand away from Jeongins side to wipe away a few tears that escaped. This has been on his mind for almost a week now since the fight has happened, and this was the first time he talked about it. He was ashamed of his cowardice, and felt incredibly guilty.

"Why was I unable to tell him? Why did I freak out when he confronted me? Jeongin, I am so scared of losing him. I don't know what I will do with myself." Jeongin hugged him, hiding away his red puffy eyes away from the world, allowing Felix to relieve all the pressure and anxiety he has been feeling day in and out in his embrace. It wasn't long before the brunette calmed down, and since they were already pretty close to the cafe Jeongin asked for his friend to wait outside while he ran to grab a drink for them. Felix agreed, not wanting to go inside but also wanting to have a moment for himself.

To say Felix felt a mountain lift off his shoulders was an understatement. He really just needed someone to listen to him, voice his feeling out into the world. They've been eating him alive and he was grateful that Jeongin didn't end up offering him some lame advice like many would.

"Feel better?"

The two found a playground to hang out at while they sipped on their refreshments and Jeongin offered him moral support. Felix nodded, a smile finally found its way back to his lips. "A lot better. Thanks."

"Everything you told me today you should tell him. Keeping all of this to yourself is torture not just for you but for him as well."

Felix agreed. By this point he has calmed down enough to process and accept aid, welcoming it. "I'm just scared of what his response will be. What if...what if he is already done with me. I don't blame him." Now that he stopped overthinking his feelings, he was hyperfixating on every possible thing that could go wrong for their relationship. What if Changbin was tired of waiting? What is his feelings for Felix have changed? What if he saw how much truly of a coward Felix truly was? What if-

"There is no point in trying to predict the future. After all, you won't know how he feels if you don't talk to him, and same goes for him. He is probably overthinking just as much as you are right now. He can't read your mind."

"It sure would be fucking easier if he could." The two boys laughed at that, Jeongin agreeing, thinking of his own relationship with Hyunjin.

"It would. I will tell him to work on that." Jeongin stands up from the swing they've been sitting on for the past hour, taking Felixs hand and pulling him up. The sun was getting ready to set, it was time for them to head home. "And while I do that, you better talk to him. Or I will send you a check to pay for my services today."

"You're so petty."

Jeongin rolled his eyes. "And you like dick up your ass. Now tell me something I don't know."

"You have no shame!"

"I knew that already."

Felix was a blushing mess, but more than anything he was surprised. Who was this Jeongin? Surely not the cute sunshine and rainbows guy he knew all these years. Jeongin has always been the nice type, or at least as far as he knew. He did notice the few times when the younger would drop his smile, thinking far into his head, and his whole attitude would suddenly change for a split second before going back to his 'normal' self. But this was new, and it felt so incredibly real. Felix realized this was the true and normal Jeongin, and he accepted his growth.

"You've changed."

The younger froze, as if a deer caught in headlights, but soon his expression softened, and a smile settled one his face, one that Felix has never seen on him before. Real.

"What do you think?"

Felix smiled back. Even though his friend's behavior was different, his love for him wasn't. And maybe he didn't change, maybe he has simply discovered himself again.

"I like it."

——
Guys why am I crying reading this. So proud of Jeongin and absolutely love how Felix is accepting of him. We all need a friend like Felix fr.