Hers to Love

Chapter 46

Amir sat at the bar with a glass of whiskey in front of him, swirling the amber liquid absentmindedly as his friend Sam took a seat beside him. Sam watched him for a moment before breaking the silence.

"You look like hell, man," Sam said, his voice low but full of concern. "What's going on?"

Amir sighed heavily, not even bothering to look up. "I don't know how to fix this, Sam. Everything's a mess. Maria, my parents, Dianne... I don't know where to start."

Sam raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his beer. "Dianne, huh? I thought she was just... you know, a family thing. Why's she still in the picture?"

Amir rubbed his face with both hands, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on him. "She is. I don't really feel anything for her. It's all about family expectations. You know how it is—my parents want me to marry someone Afghan, someone who fits in with our traditions. Dianne just happens to check all those boxes."

Sam frowned. "But that's not what you want, right?"

Amir shook his head. "No. Not at all. It's... I don't even know what I want anymore. Every time I think about Maria, it kills me. I want to be with her, Sam. I wanted to hug her when we went to see her at her apartment. But you know how that went down."

Sam took another swig of his beer and nodded. "Yeah, I was surprised your parents wanted to go. You didn't seem too keen on that."

"I wasn't," Amir admitted, staring into his drink. "I knew my father would say something to make things worse. And, of course, I was right. The whole time, I was just waiting for it—waiting for him to say something that would make everything more complicated with Maria. And then he did. He told her straight up that I couldn't be with her."

Sam leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. "Man, that's rough. What did Maria say?"

Amir winced at the memory. "She acted like she expected it, like she already knew it was coming. She's so strong, Sam. Stronger than I deserve. She told my parents that if I wanted to be in the baby's life, I could be, but if not, she'd handle it on her own. No drama. No begging for anything. Just... calm."

Sam whistled softly. "That's heavy, bro. So, what are you gonna do?"

Amir clenched his fists, feeling the frustration and guilt rise inside him. "I don't know! I mean, I want to be there for the baby, for her. But I've already messed up so much. I've hurt her in ways I didn't even think were possible. Hell, I even doubted the baby was mine at one point, and I know that crushed her."

Sam stared at him, wide-eyed. "You what? Dude, why would you even go there?"

"I was freaked out, okay?! And when I followed her in the Philippines I saw a man hugged her and kissed her forehead!" Amir snapped, then immediately regretted his tone. He sighed again, lowering his voice. "I didn't mean it. I was just... scared. Scared of what all of this means, scared of how much my life is changing. And now, I don't know how to make it up to her."

"You know that hugging and kissing in the forehead is not a big deal in the Phililpines right bro?!" Sam mockingly said to Amir.

"I got jealous okay! i didn't even tell her about ir. I'm so embarassed."

Sam was quiet for a moment, considering his words. "You can't undo what's been said or done. But you can still try, man. If you really want to be a part of this kid's life, you need to tell Maria that. Own up to your mistakes. But, Amir... you've got to make a choice. You can't keep stringing her along if you're tied to this whole thing with Dianne. It's not fair to either of them."

Amir nodded slowly, the weight of Sam's words sinking in. "I know. I've been so wrapped up in trying to please my family that I've lost sight of what I actually want."

"And what do you want?" Sam asked, leaning forward, his tone serious.

Amir swallowed hard. "I want to be with Maria. I love her, man. But I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for everything I've put her through."

Sam gave him a sympathetic look. "She might, but you've got to fight for it. You can't half-ass this. And you've got to be honest with yourself—and with her."

Amir nodded, staring at his drink. "Yeah. I guess it's time I stop running from all of this."