Promise Me Forever

Chapter Four

Mom had an important book meeting in Los Angeles and dad is working late on an important case. So, Tony and I made plans with the girls to have a pool day since the weather has cleared up. We have lemonade for the girls, champagne for ourselves, and enough food for all of us for the day. After we all got changed and put sunscreen on, Tony and I are laying on the lounge chairs watching the girls have fun together in the pool. (Tony): “But seriously, how have you been holding up?” (Michelle): “Tony…” (Tony): “You can try and convince me over the phone all you want but you know you can’t lie to my face. Talk to me” (Michelle): “You spoke to mom and dad. Didn’t you?” (Tony): “They might have mentioned what happened at the hospital. Between keeping up with your book release events, being a good mom, and having to see Nick like that, you are allowed to take some time to breathe. You are burning the candle at both ends” (Jenny): “Mommy! May we have some lemonade, please?” (Michelle): “Of course, baby” (Tony): “You have to realize that you can’t help everyone all the time. You need to take time to take care of yourself too” (Michelle): “Nick needs me. The girls need me. I can’t be selfish like that” (Tony): “It’s not being selfish to recuperate. You are hurting and pretending that everything is fine. Bottling up all that is extremely dangerous” (Michelle): “You sound like a therapist” We get in the pool with the girls and play some games together. They get on the pool floaties and for a moment, it doesn’t hurt. For a split second there, I forgot that the love of my life is stuck in hospital and has been there for days. We continue to spend the day together. We have a barbecue, and it goes amazingly. Once I had tucked the girls into bed, I read them a short story and kissed both of them goodnight. Tony said he will sleep here for as long as I need. So, I know the girls won’t be alone. I drive to the hospital and the weight still feels so heavy on my chest. At least when I read about our love story, it helps me live in the happy memories instead of drowning in the pain of the current circumstances. I decided to buy a mocha at Starbucks on the way to the hospital. I put it down on the nightstand next to Nick, in the hopes that he can at least smell it. (Michelle): “Hey, baby. I brought you your favourite. A mocha with extra whipped cream. Just the way you like it. I wanted to bring a scented candle instead but an open flame in a hospital with oxygen tanks is not a good idea”

Our first official date was at the ‘Coffee Bean Café.’ The aroma of coffee not only makes you feel awake but gives such a sense of relaxation. (Barista): “Hey there. Welcome to Coffee Bean! What can I get ya?” I ordered a cappuccino with some hazelnut syrup in there because it felt like that kind of a day. Nick ordered a mocha with extra whipped cream. We fetch our orders and sit down at a table for two. Why we felt so nervous, I still have no idea. It was as if we had not spent any time together before. We then spoke about the coffee, amongst other things. (Michelle): “Please tell me what the fascination is with whipped cream?” (Nick): “You want to try some?” (Michelle): “Oh hell no. Cream is just something I can do without” (Nick): “Oh come on. It’s really good” (Michelle): “I was promised coffee and a view. I am perfectly content with what I have so far” (Nick): “Admiring the view, hey? That is going to be tough to do with your eyes closed” (Michelle): “What?” Before I know it, we were locked in a kiss. Feeling his hands in my hair and me with my hand on the back of his neck. We smile at the same time and then proceed with another kiss. My body felt so weightless that I could have sworn I was flying from the kisses we shared. It had been so long since we kissed that I was starting to miss it. Then we opened our eyes and the barista at the check counter looked extremely flushed. More than we did. (Michelle): “That was a smooth move. I am impressed” (Nick): “What can I say? I missed kissing you” This warmth went through my entire being when he said that because it confirmed that I was not the only one who missed kissing him. After we had our coffees, I ordered a chocolate-coffee cake slice but to my surprise it was much bigger than anticipated. Pun intended. I asked Nick if he would be open to sharing it with me and thankfully, he agreed. I would not have been able to finish it all by myself. I mean, I would have but then they would have had to have me rolled out of here faster than you can say glutton! We both agreed that it was the most delicious cake that we have ever had before and continued to indulge until there was nothing left. We somehow ended up talking about the future. He mentioned that he is both a dog and a cat person, so am I. Which made it difficult to decide between the two but eventually we said that we would want to get puppies one day in the future. Specifically, two husky puppies with blue eyes, and black and white fur. We started talking about which parks would be best for when taking them on their walks. It was as if we were already living the fantasy that we were talking about. That same day, he ordered another mocha with extra whipped cream so he could purposefully put some cream on the tip of my nose. We had the biggest laugh about it and later he ordered a special dessert. It was a chocolate brownie, with ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ written in chocolate sauce. You can obviously guess what my answer was.

That is why bringing this mocha was so important tonight. (Michelle): “Bringing you your favourite drink helped me relive that day because the smell in here smells exactly like our first date now. I’m sorry. I should not be crying. The doctors encourage that we speak of happy memories, but this isn’t fair. I miss you so much. I miss turning to your side in bed and feeling you put your arms around me. Seeing your smile and hearing that laugh of yours. Seeing those brown eyes. Or hearing you rush into the room to read a comment someone made about one of my books with a huge smile on your face. I hold your hand every night in the hopes that one day you will squeeze it to let me know that you are back. I really have no idea if you can hear me, but I love you. I have loved you since first seeing that smile. So, please come back home. I need to see that smile again. Our family needs to see you” I continue holding his hand and pray that hopefully this is the day he wakes up… but no luck. I tell him that I feel guilty for not being able to be here every single night. Jenny and Jill might feel neglected if I am hardly around. They already miss their daddy enough as it is. They don’t need to feel suspicious or worried. Everything will work out. My hubby is a fighter. He will get through this.