Promise Me Forever

Chapter Ten

Making so much progress in therapy over the last few weeks has helped me with my visits at the hospital. I have not been crying as much as I used to, and my family has noticed the positive changes as well. It changed from grieving to patiently waiting. It is a beautiful Saturday morning which means that the girls are home since it’s the weekend. Their teachers have informed me that their grades dropped slightly but they have been more disciplined in the classroom. Apparently, they used to talk a lot more during class without paying any attention. I asked that they receive some extra classes or help because they didn’t ask for their lives to be turned upside down the way it has been. I cooked up some pancakes for breakfast with syrup and chocolate chips in the batter. The girls love chocolate chip pancakes, and I always have some chopped fruit on the side, so they can have something healthy with it as well. I was not in the mood for pancakes this morning, so I made myself a bowl of cooked oats with some milk, sugar, and cinnamon. (Jenny): “PANCAKES! We’re having pancakes!” (Jill): “Chocolate chips! Yes! Thank you, mommy!” (Jenny): “Thank you, mommy!” (Michelle): “You’re welcome, my angels. Did you sleep well?” They both have their mouths full of pancake so they nod their heads because they know they should not speak with food in their mouths. I greatly appreciated that. (Michelle): “I know that you both don’t want to see daddy until he is awake but are you sure that you don’t want to go visit him?” They say that they are determined to wait until he is awake because they want to be able to hug him and tell him all about their extra-curricular activities that they have been up to at school. I understand how they feel. It hurts to speak to him whilst knowing that he won’t be able to respond but I have to do whatever is possible to make his recovery move along better. We end up watching a movie together with some popcorn at lunch time. It was quite the laid-back Saturday. I then dropped the girls off at one of their friend’s houses for a sleepover that they had been asking for. They deserve to go have some fun with their friends after everything they have been through. Then before I knew it, it was late afternoon, and I went to see my husband in the hospital. Always hoping to see him awake when I enter.

Nick and I got engaged on our five-year anniversary when he was twenty-nine years old, and I was twenty-seven. We planned to get married in one year but let me tell you what happened the day we got engaged. We went to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. It was the first time that we had both ever been there at all. We knew that we had to get the exclusive passes so we would not have to wait too long before getting on all of the rides. It was most certainly not cheap, but it was worth saving up in advance. We were so looking forward to this trip that we had already made a list of snacks we wanted to try. Nick had told me afterwards that he had the ring box with him, but he knew he wanted to propose when a crazy thing happened. We were walking around, and I saw a child pass out. It could have been from either excitement or the heat, but he was clearly not breathing. We were going to be late for one of our rides but that didn’t even cross my mind. I rushed over to the little child and gave them CPR. Luckily, they woke up and the medical team got there to take it further. The mother thanked me profusely as she was so in shock that she assumed her little one was dead. That same night, the fireworks were going off. It was mesmerizing then I turned to see Nick on one knee with the ring in his hand. (Nick): “Michelle Sawyer, since the moment we met at that festival, you never left my mind. Ever since that first kiss, I knew that there was nobody else I ever wanted to kiss and that nobody else should be kissing those lips but me. You are my entire heart, mind, and soul. I cannot, will not, do not want to picture a life without you because of how much I love you. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” (Michelle): “I love you so much. Yes. Yes, I will marry you!” We kissed as the fireworks were going off and the entire moment felt so magical. It felt like such a dream come true to finally be engaged to the love of my life. We then celebrated our engagement by going to Sun City in Johannesburg. We were so thrilled to see all of the wonderful animals on safari and enjoy the five-star hotel in South Africa. It was much more than we could have ever dreamed of. The people were so kind, the food was beyond delicious, and the animals were so adorable! We also video called the family from Sun City to tell them the news and they were screaming for joy. After that call, Nick let me know about how they already knew about him planning on doing it and that he had the ring for years. (Michelle): “Baby, that was so risky. What if it was no longer my size after all these years and it didn’t fit me? I mean, it could be resized but then I would have to say goodbye to it for a few weeks after the pleasure of seeing it” (Nick): “Risky but worth the risk in my eyes. It fits you and it looks magnificent on you. Do you like it?” (Michelle): “Are you joking? Of course. I love it! I never want to take it off” (Nick): “How did I get so damn lucky?” He leaned in to kiss me and we could not wipe the smiles off our faces even if we tried. I was engaged to Nick Johnson.

That was the greatest moment ever, or at least one of the greatest moments that we shared together in our entire lives together. The look on his face when he asked me to marry him is engraved in my mind till this day. He was so nervous, but he was so certain at the same time. When I said yes, he lifted me up in his arms and we kissed. I can still feel what it felt like to have his arms wrapped around me. I miss that feeling more than I could put into words. Looking at him here and now, how I wish that those arms could hold me even if it were for the last time. One more chance to kiss him again, to feel his hand on my cheek again, or feel his cuddles again. There is no book that could truly prepare you for being in a situation like this. There is no online article or story to help guide you on how to be ready for these painful types of circumstances. Seeing your husband or wife in this state is more painful than could ever be described. However, I am here to stay. I said that I would wait for Nick no matter how long it takes, and I mean it with my entire heart.