𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐓: 𝐀 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐐𝐮𝐫'𝐚𝐧

chapter 46

It was 3 AM, and he lay on his bed with his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Ayat's voice echoed in his mind, heavy and filled with unshed tears. Why was she crying? He abruptly sat up, hanging his legs over the side of the bed, and made his way to his study table. He opened the same drawer he had kept Ayat from opening. As he did, his eyes fell on a keychain, but he pushed it aside and instead took out a diary that lay beneath it.

Closing the drawer, he examined the diary in his hands. He wasn't hiding the keychain from Ayat; it was this diary that held his secrets. He opened it slowly and flipped to a page where he had written the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He aspired to fulfill at least some of these deeds, knowing that he couldn't encompass them all. While marrying a divorcee was not in his hands, it was in Allah's, and somehow he had achieved it. Little did he know that the woman he loved was the divorcee.

A lone tear slid down his cheek as he thought about how much Ayat had suffered in the past. It wasn’t just him; she was also in pain, and perhaps that’s why she had become so silent. She no longer smiled genuinely, yet she tried to keep him happy because he was her husband.

He recalled her pale figure, her wan face, and her eyes that had lost the sparkle he had witnessed during their university days. Another tear rolled down his cheek, landing on the diary where a Sunnah was written:

"Wetting some parts of one's body that are not awrah with rainwater is Sunnah."

He rubbed his hand over the letters, letting his tears spread across the name written just below the text. Despite everything, a ray of hope lingered in his heart that, perhaps, he could win her back. That was why he had written these things; he wished to fulfill them with her beside him. But soon, those hopes shattered, and he locked away all memories of her inside this house. He never brought her belongings to Mumbai, determined not to remember her, yet her thoughts never left his mind. He would cry at night, consumed by the regret of his sins that led him to lose her.

"When Lady Aisha (RA) reports that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) would lay on her lap while she menstruated or kiss her while he was fasting..."

He smiled through his tears, struck by the love our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) had for his wife. Another tear fell as he realized how deeply the Prophet loved his ummah — us, who are lost in this world and distracted by its illusions. He felt grateful for the right guidance (hidayat) he had received.

He placed the diary back where it belonged and entered the bathroom to perform wudu for Tahajjud.

Sitting on the prayer mat, he raised his hands and whispered calmly,

"Make everything easy for me, Ya Rab! Make me capable of bringing back that sparkle in her eyes again. I want to witness the same Ayat I fell in love with, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love her. She is still that special person for me who made me return to You. It was I who was misguided, but Your blessings guided me, and for that, I am so grateful"

"Alhamdulillah for everything, Allah! I swear for everything!"

Tears streamed down his face as he pressed his palms against it, everything includes the all blessings of Allah to him but 99 percent everything was only ayat......!

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She was sitting on the bed, lost in her own thoughts. Anaya, who was also sitting on her bed and studying, glanced at her sister. Ayat's expression was neutral, and she was quiet compared to how she had been just the day before. She seemed happy then, but now something felt off.

"What happened, Appi?" Anaya finally asked. Ayat didn’t hear her and continued to stare blankly in a particular direction. "Ayat Appi?" Anaya called again, emphasizing her name. This time, Ayat snapped out of it and looked at her, as if caught in something.