The Lockwood Boys

Vita Va Avanti

Lilith

"Mom?" I call as I set down my backpack just coming home from school. Normally my mother is sitting on the couch sipping tea from her mug waiting for me to come home but she wasn't there. I hear a thump coming from what sounds like my bedroom followed by an ouch which causes me to hurry toward the closed door. "Mom? Are you in my room?" I call once more and I hear the faintest 'oh shit' coming from the other side. I go to open the door when it's pushed closed again.

"Okay first off what the heck Mom? Second, you owe money to the swear jar. You're 16 dollars in debt," I roll my eyes thinking of the almost full jar on top of the refrigerator.

I started the jar a year ago when I realized how bad my mother's swearing problem is. At this rate, she'll be funding my entire college tuition in the next few months.

"Okay! I'm ready, come in!" she shouts her force leaving the door. I take a deep breath and brace myself for whatever lies behind my bedroom door. I slowly open the door with my eyes closed as my mother quickly instructs. She guides me to the other side of my room and lets go when I assume we stop at what she did.

"Okay Lily Billy, open your eyes," she says with a giddiness in her tone. Slowly I open my eyes but when I see what sits in front of me, my eyes go wide. "Oh my god, mom!?" I cover my mouth with my hands as tears prick at my eyes. She resigned my window area. She turned my normal window into a bay window dupe. The window is left as is but in front of it is a small cushioned bench with armrests on either side. Attached to each armrest is a bookcase that goes down to the ends of the wall.

She made me a mini bay window reading nook. "Do you like it?" she asks biting at her nails like she does when she's nervous. I slowly turn to face her until I can't take it and rush to give her the biggest hug.

"I love it, Mom, thank you," I say, tears streaming down my face as she holds me tightly in her arms. "Anything for you, baby," she coos. Until everything fades away slowly.

Now

My eyes fly open at the sound of a honking car. My anxiety slowly resurfaced as me and Griffin sit in absolute silence. Driving in this car is very difficult. I can look over and see Griffin must think the same thing as both of his hands squeeze the stirring wheel. I don't like sitting in silence, it makes me deathly nervous and uncomfortable especially when I'm already naturally nervous around the person I'm sitting in silence with. Me and Griffin have an awkward relationship already and I've made it worse by admitting what I was doing in that room. I thank god that I shut the door before I admitted what was going through my mind while it was happening.

I wonder if he knew. The look in his eyes.

I wonder if I had told him, would my fantasy have become a reality? The thing I hate more about it is that I would've let it happen. Why the fuck would I have let that happen? "So.." I say out of nowhere startling myself and Griffin. His hand twitches at the sound of my voice almost jumpy-like. Shut up, Lily. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about that whole thing in my room. I uh. It was very inappropriate and I apologize," I sputter out and I wanna die a little more with every word.

He coughs, clearing his throat. "Uh no. It's.. it's alright. I was just caught off guard by your words," He says in response sounding like he also wants to die. I pick up the water bottle I had grabbed from the fridge before we left. I attempt to chug it down when he speaks again. "Don't feel too bad about it. It's a natural thing people do," he pauses and what looks like a small smirk appears on his lips before it's gone. "I would know. I'm not above such things," He says slickly and the water catches in my throat and I spit it out all over the dashboard. I thought I heard a small chuckle to my left and my head whips in his direction. He's not laughing but I do see the smallest faint of a smirk on his lips. He's smirking at me. He thinks this is funny.