Memories of You | Book 2 | Englot (GirlxGirl)

11. Compromising

POV ENGFA

I woke up feeling slightly exhausted but I'm not complaining as I watch the woman beside me, still sleeping with her glorious naked body barely covered by a sheet. I smiled as I remembered last night. God, Charlotte and her way of making me feel so powerless has become my greatest guilty pleasure.

We had a cold argument yesterday morning. I was clearly in the wrong, but I had my reasons. The topic of having kids had changed in a way that wasn't like it was for me before. Back then, I really wanted to have children-like Charlotte said, running around the house making it a little playground, and having a beach house like the one I always dreamed of. But now? I'm not so sure anymore.

Lately, my mind has been struggling with forgetfulness, even with recent memories. It's been getting worse day by day. I'm afraid I won't be a good mother, that I'll confuse them with my behavior, and that they'll question my love for them. Hell, I'm even scared that Charlotte might leave me if she gets tired of my condition.

These thoughts have been nagging at me for a few months. When Charlotte brought up the topic, I couldn't come up with a reasonable excuse to avoid hurting her more. So, I called one of the two people I trust the most yesterday. I told her everything, and my 'I miss you too' was simply a response to her because she's been away in the Philippines for a few days. That's why 'I miss you' slipped out.

I couldn't help but think that even with my forgetfulness affecting both me and Charlotte, she's still here-always patient, always by my side. She's never truly mad at me, even when I made a huge mistake about Krabi or when I said 'I miss you' to someone else, which disappointed her yesterday. Yet, she's still here. She never really confronts me; she goes way beyond my expectations.

Looking back at our past, every argument we had always ended with us at each other's throats, leaving scars, and never really backing down, even walking away to calm down felt too difficult. So now, at this stage of our relationship, I'm really grateful.

I decided to get out of bed and head to the kitchen. As I prepared breakfast for us, I looked at the spaciousness of this house. It really is spacious. I built this house with the intention of having a big family with Charlotte, and now, it seems it will stay spacious.

I just hope she won't feel lonely living with only me. Oh God, please don't make her feel lonely.

Charlotte came down a few minutes after breakfast was ready. She was as cute as ever when she walked toward me and sat on my lap at the kitchen stool. I automatically wrapped my arms around her waist.

She rested her head on my shoulder. "Bee, please massage my temples. I still feel heavy from last night's drinks."

I chuckled and began massaging her temples for a few moments while she kept her eyes closed. "You said you were just tipsy."

She grumbled, "I was tipsy, alright! But I don't drink often, so it's understandable that I still have a headache even from just being a little tipsy."

I laughed, then stopped my massage, tapping her thigh to make her get up. She did and sat beside me while I handed her plate of breakfast. "Drink this, Nuu. You'll feel better." I then pushed my glass of ginger tea toward her, which she wrinkled her nose at.

"Ugh! I don't like it."

I kept offering it to her as she backed away slightly, but she eventually gave in and took a sip. "Good girl."

She slapped my arm, made a face, and then walked to the fridge to pour herself a glass of water.

We sat in silence, enjoying our breakfast, until she suddenly started giggling. I turned to her, confused, but she continued eating while shaking her head at my puzzled expression.