Helping 13- rewriting it

𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶

AUTHORS's NOTE:
Hey everyonee!! I'm back finally with new updates. Thank you everyone for all of the kind messages and prayers i have been receiving, i love all of you. I have been doing better for anyone asking, just going through it. Also i can't guarantee you that updates will be every other day, like they used to. Besides school starting out, i am still pretty burn out, that's also the reason these chapters will be a bit short, but i didn't want to keep you guys waiting for so long. Love you all💗

AURORA

Last night was just one of my many
sleepless nights since moving back to Cork.

It's like the move back here triggered something in my mind.

The scenes in my head replayed in my head all the time. I couldn't get them out.

Maybe cause there was no more modeling, my career was gone, so that meant that all of the stuff i did was for nothing.

For nothing

Late at night i can't close my eyes. If i do i only see it, i only see him. His face wouldn't get out of my head. I hated it. Insted of sleeping i just stare into the darkness. Anything's better than seeing him.

Now i was standing in front of the mirror. Dark purple eyebags under my eyes. I looked like i got beat up.

I brought the concealer stick in my hand up to my face.

This better work, good.

After some time and a lot of work later, i looked decent. I looked okay, i looked well, like i needed to be. I always had to be well.

I took in a deep breath as i looked in the mirror. My pink lips had my favorite lipgloss over them. My eyelashes were coated in black mascara, that made my eyes pop. The concealer and foundation covered my true face good. The blush on my face enhanced my naturally rosy cheeks. This was my mask. My perfect, everything covered mask. I needed that mask, always.

I grabbed my backpack and walked out of my room. Twenty steps down the curved staircase. Thirty-four steps down the long hallway. Three steps down the small staircase that separated the entrance of the house from the pavement. Five steps to the car.

"Hey Eric" I climbed into the car.

"Hey kiddo"

For the rest of the drive we were quiet. Which was good, i liked the quiet.

I loved long car rides where i could just look out the window, at the people passing. I liked looking at them, trying to read them.

Like did was that guy sad cause he just lost his job or did a girl reject him?
Was that girl excited cause she just passed an exam or did she find out she was pregnant?
Did that grandpa go on a walk alone cause he liked it or was he missing someone?

But these were just guesses. You never know the silent battles people are fighting, even the people you think you are the closest to. You'll never walk in my shoes and i will never walk in yours, and we shouldn't have to in order to empathize with each other.

You can't read people, they aren't a book to be read.

I was pulled out of my day dreaming when i noticed we were pulling up to school.

I jumped out of the car, saying goodbye to Eric as i walked away.

As soon as i stepped foot in school something felt off, different.

"Hey Aurora, wanna do a private shoot for me?" An older guy yelled at me in passing.

Okay.. so people found out who i was. No big deal, no big deal. I was proud of my career. Head up high Aurora.

Head up high.

Walking through the school halls, i felt like i was naked from all the stares i was getting, which i wasn't. I looked down multiple times to check.

Finally, after what felt like forever i found Claire and Lizzie.

"Hey" Claire walked up to me. She hugged me gently. "We heard people talking-"

"I know" i cut her off.

She let go of the hug, still holding onto my arms. She looks at me.

"I'm okay, it's okay. I mean it's nothing bad, right?"

Claire just nodded.

"People are just bored. Their lives are so boring so they have to obsess over other people" Lizzie joined in the conversation.

I gave Liz a smile before hugging her.

The first few classes went okay, with Lizzie and Claire by my side. Whenever anyone made a snarky comment Liz would back me up, she always did, since we were kids.

Claire told me that Johnny Kavanagh in fact had given Shannon a concussion. I felt so bad for her. She had to spend the night in the hospital and the rest of the week at home. Poor girl.

I actually lied yesterday day when i told Johnny Kavanagh that i didn't know who he was. I mean how couldn't i have? He was Ireland's rugby star. I didn't live under a rock. A part of my job was to know other famous people as well. I even went to a few of his games. But i couldn't just tell him that i knew who he was. I hated when people did that to me. The way his eyes grew when i told him i didn't know who he was, it was just perfect. I knew it meant to him. Exactly how i was happy when he didn't know who I was. I knew that he wasn't lying cause boys don't lie about that crap. I mean i loved being famous and people knowing about me, i loved my career, but sometimes it's nice to have someone not know who you are. Cause when people start to like you before they knew who you, then you know their first instinct was to use you. I mean sure there were other ways to be used, i would know, since i got used in the every way i knew i could be used for. But people liking you just for who you were and not for what you are just sounded perfect.

Then came lunch. Claire was taking me to see the guys. Lizzie wasn't coming with us, she was going somewhere, i didn't know where. I ofcourse offered to go with her but she said there was no need to. But i felt so guilty leaving her, she kept saying it was okay, then Claire just dragged me with her.

We entered the cafeteria, it was really big. It was my first time seeing it as i didn't have lunch here yesterday. Claire looked around for a second, then took my hand and started walking. Her eyes were fixated on one particular table. The one table filled with big fucking guys, like most all them were jacked.

We walked up to the table, no one even noticing us, that was until Claire tapped the shoulder of one particular blonde boy whose back was turned to us.

The guys head immediately turned and he looked at Claire. "Claire-bear!" He exclaimed, not even noticing me

"There's someone here who i think you'd like to see" Claire gestured towards me.

The boy turned to look at me, and then our gazes met. I immediately recognized his grey eyes, Gibsie. My best friend Gibsie.

"Hi Gibs" i smiled