A New Safe Space

Letting Go

It had been six months since Akk and Ayan finally sat down for that long-overdue conversation—the one that would put an official end to their seven-year relationship. Even though it had technically been two years since Akk broke things off, the conversation had brought closure, drawing a final line between their past and present.

Time, though slow, had softened the edges of Akk's grief, helping him accept the harsh reality that there was no more AkkAyan. Their shared identity had faded, leaving behind only fragments of memories and what-ifs. Yet, even as time helped him move on, the void remained—a constant reminder of the love he had let slip away.

After that talk, things had begun to shift. With consent from both Akk and Ayan, their friends—Khan, Wat, and the rest of the group—started including them in the same meet-ups again. Akk had dreaded the first few gatherings, unsure of how seeing Ayan so regularly would affect him. Sometimes, Ayan would come alone, explaining that Yok was busy working on his final art project ahead of graduation. Those moments, though not easy, felt manageable.

But when Yok showed up, it was harder. Seeing the two of them together always reignited a pang in Akk's chest. He'd watch as they stood close, a private world of shared laughter and stolen glances between them. It wasn't the same Ayan he had known—the man standing beside Yok seemed lighter, more open.

The first few meetings had been awkward. Small talk felt strained, and Akk would spend most of the evening looking anywhere but at Ayan and Yok. But, with time, something resembling normalcy began to settle in. They weren't close by any means, but the conversations grew easier. The tension in the air, while still present, lessened with each meeting. They were learning to co-exist. Akk wasn't sure if he'd ever be entirely comfortable with the situation, but he was managing.

A part of him, though, still clung to the hope that maybe—just maybe—if things didn't work out between Ayan and Yok, he could find a way back into Ayan's life. It was a selfish hope, he knew that. But he couldn't completely shake it.

Today was Yok's graduation day. A major milestone for him, and when Yok and Ayan sent out the invitation to their friend group, Akk knew he couldn't say no. Everyone knew he had no other group of friends, no other distractions that would justify his absence. So, like the rest, he RSVP'd and braced himself for the inevitable emotions that would come.

The graduation ceremony was held at one of Bangkok's largest halls, and Akk arrived early, parking his car and finding a spot amongst the crowd. The atmosphere buzzed with excitement—graduates in their gowns and caps, family members holding flowers and congratulatory gifts. Akk found the group easily, with Khan and Wat already there. As they exchanged pleasantries, he couldn't help but scan the crowd, looking for Ayan and Yok.

They arrived together, of course. Yok, in his graduation robe, looked different—more mature, more assured. Ayan stood beside him, his eyes shining with pride as he held a small bouquet of flowers. Akk swallowed hard, trying to steady himself. Seeing Ayan's joy, knowing it wasn't because of him, was a reminder that he was no longer a part of that happiness.

Yok caught his eye, and they exchanged a nod. The tension that had once existed between them had diminished, replaced by a quiet understanding. Akk knew Yok wasn't threatened by him—he had no reason to be. Ayan had moved on, and Yok had won his heart in a way Akk never could have.

The ceremony began, and Akk found himself lost in thought as the speeches droned on. Memories of his and Ayan's years together flooded his mind—the good, the bad, the in-between. There had been so much love, so much potential, and yet, here he was, sitting alone, watching as Ayan celebrated a future that no longer included him.

After the ceremony, the group gathered to congratulate Yok. Akk stood back, watching as Ayan beamed, his arms around Yok in a way that made it clear how solid their relationship was. They were a team now, just like he and Ayan had once been.

Khan nudged him gently. "You okay?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

Akk nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah," he replied, though his heart ached. "Just... processing, I guess."

As the group moved to take pictures, Akk offered his congratulations to Yok. The younger man smiled, though it was more polite than warm. There was no hostility between them, just a silent acknowledgment that their roles in Ayan's life were different now.

Later, as they all sat down for drinks to celebrate Yok's achievement, Akk found himself watching Ayan again. He seemed so at ease, so happy. It was a bittersweet sight. Akk had always loved Ayan's smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the way his laughter could light up a room. Seeing that same joy now, but knowing it wasn't for him, hurt more than he wanted to admit.

But in that moment, something shifted. Maybe it was the finality of seeing Yok graduate, knowing that this was a new chapter for both him and Ayan. Or maybe it was the realization that holding onto hope was only prolonging his own pain.

As the evening wore on, Akk made a quiet decision. It was time to truly let go. He had held onto the idea of AkkAyan for far too long, but that chapter was over. Ayan had found happiness with Yok, and he deserved to find his own happiness too. What he needed now was to figure out who he was without Ayan, and what his future could look like without the constant shadow of his past hanging over him.

As he stood by the bar nursing his now warmer whiskey staring at the pair dancing close, his thoughts were interrupted by the smooth, low voice of a stranger beside him.

"New in town, or are you just here to wallow?"

Akk turned, mildly startled. The man standing beside him had an air of relaxed confidence, his sharp features softened by a teasing smile. He was breathtakingly pretty it was almost painful to look at and the fact that he showed interest in Akk deeply surprised him.

(Please revisit the EPILOGUE to refresh your memory, as the next chapter picks up directly from where the events in the EPILOGUE left off.)