Don't believe everything you hear | WLW

Chapter Thirty Two A blessing in disguise

                         Evelyn Carmine POV

I gasp loudly, my body launching forward. I clench the bed sheets below me, practically hyperventilating.

Where am I?

What the hell happened?!

Why am I in bed?!

So many questions.

I look around in the pitch black, with the small red tv light in the distance. I'm in my room, but how?

I was just in the shower, the water on high. But then I was in the hospital with Alethea too?

What's going on? Was it all a dream? It seems like forever since i've been in my own bed. I get up and just sit there half way off the bed, staring into nothing. Trying to comprehend everything that's happened, and if it's even real or not.

I finally get up, and reach for my phone next to my bed. It takes me a minute but i finally get it. I check the time.

4:47 AM, the light causing me to squint my eyes. I have multiple missed calls and texts from my boyfrie- ex boyfriend.

10/23 (2:40AM) - "Call me back and i'll explain everything"

"4 Missed calls from Damian" (2:43AM)

10/24 (1:24 PM) - "You haven't returned any of my calls or texts?? Fucking answer me.

(4:32 PM) "Please babe just answer me. I didn't cheat on you. I love you"

"12 missed calls" (2 days ago)

"5 hours ago" - You fucking bitch. Ignoring me for what? Jealous because I found someone else better than you? I should have left you a long time ago.

Wow. Just wow. I can't say i'm surprised. I haven't checked my phone in so long because of all the crazy shit that's been happening in my life. I don't need this and it doesn't faze me anymore.

It would have, I would have been heart broken and tried my best to ruin his life. But now, I have no energy. No energy to get up or do anything.

I wonder how I even got home. Was I at the hospital last night, or days, or even weeks ago? Is it even real?

Nothing makes sense anymore. I think of my mom and how she would react if she knew I was here.

Just as I finish that thought, I drag my self out of bed and turn on the shower I could have just sworn I was in last night. I thought that would be the end but I guess not.

It wasn't even real.

There's nothing left for me here anyways. Lost all of my friends, I don't have much family left, lost my boyfriend, and the person I didn't know I was in love with all these years.

Why can't God ever give me a happy ending? I mean, I can understand why with all the horrible shit i've done in my life.

I deserve this. I deserve all of this.

All of these thoughts are running through my mind as the shower pours down my face. It feels as if all the ugly is washing away.

I didn't notice how hot the shower was until I turn it off and walk out to see all the steam flooding my vision.

My mind hasn't had time to process what happened to Alethea, with my Mom, not even my boyfriend. How could I? It's one thing after the other.

I finally get cleaned up. I can't even stand to look at my self in the mirror. I don't recognize the reflection starting right back at me. Was this how Alethea felt? All those years?

I can't imagine all the shit I put her through. My denial ruined me, but especially her.

She didn't deserve any of this. If I would have accepted who I really was, maybe things would be different.

Would have.

But now, I'm sitting on my bed, wearing Aletheas hoodie I took from the back of her car after her crash.

I don't know why I did that. I couldn't even think in that moment after they carried her away but I subconsciously took it.

Like I knew that's the only thing I would have left of her.

It still smells like her. I feel tears welt up in my eyes and I let it all out. The sun faintly shinning through my curtain windows.

I let the feeling consume me. I haven't been able to cry like this since my father died. I think of my father, the memories, his death, the feelings after his death. My Mom, how she's changed, the things she's said to me. And all the things i've done to people, my self, and to Alethea.

All the bad things in my life come crashing at once.

After around 10 minutes I get up, look at my puffy face in the mirror and wipe my tears. I try to practice smiling but I can't. I just stare for so long till the point where I can't. I have to get used to this face.

I snap out of it when I hear ringing coming from my phone in my room.

I check and I see the name Mom.

My heart drops but I find the courage to pick it up. There's nothing she can do to me now.

"Hello?" I say in a whisper.

"Hello, is this Evelyn Carmine?" A woman says in a low voice. I can hear the faint sounds of an ambulance in the background.

"Yea this is?" I say with a questionable tone of voice. Many negative thoughts overcome my mind but I'm snapped out of it when she says,

"I'm afraid I have some bad news."

My heart drops for a second time."

It is silent as she replies to her self," I'm afraid your mother has passed."

What?..