Begin Again

A Song So Bittersweet

Siwet's POV:

15 minutes. I have no more than 15 minutes to reach the set. The traffic is incessant today. I've barely been able to move 2 kms in the last half an hour.

My heart is pounding. I've finally found something that I genuinely want to do. Ever since I got out of Splitsvilla, I haven't taken up any project. Not because no offer came from the other end, but just because I haven't found something that really caught my eye.

I got a couple of music videos but to be honest it's not something I'm particularly keen on. It just seems so cliche because everyone does a music video after Splitsvilla and I'm not someone who wants to go down that road. I've spent numerous years struggling to get to where I am today and now I really want to do a project I'm truly invested in and not just because the money's good or it could be the 'next big thing.'

And now after almost 2 months of searching and coming up empty handed, I feel as if I've found my calling. It's this new web series about star-crossed lovers and forbidden love. The plot is so unique and unlike anything I've ever done before. Not gonna lie, it makes me extremely nervous since this is a new genre I'm pursuing but like they say 'life's a climb but the view is great.'

I only just signed the documents two days ago and this is the first time I'll be meeting everybody. Hell, I don't even know who my co-star is going to be. We're not gonna be shooting. Today, we're just gonna have a meeting to do screen tests and get better acquainted with the script and our co-star of course.

Ekta ma'am is the producer so I know it is going to be a hit for sure. She also told me that I don't have to worry about anything since I already have the role and the chemistry with the female lead is not gonna be a problem. I trust her and most importantly, I trust myself. I'm gonna make sure everything goes without a hitch and make this series the pick of the bunch.

I turn on the radio just to take my mind off the meeting. I've been pondering and overthinking constantly, making up possible disaster scenarios in my mind. I need to just chill out and everything will go smoothly.

I change the channel and suddenly the meeting is not the only thing I'm thinking about anymore. Infact, it's the last thing on my mind.

Splitsvilla, a couple of months ago

Ajeeb daastaan hai yeh
Kahan shuru kahan khatam

"Come on Siwi sing with me," Anicka whined.

"This is my most favourite song in the entire world. My dadaji used to tell me that this was the first movie he ever saw along with my dadi and this song just struck a chord with him."

"And how's that?," I inquired.

"He told me that this song made him realise how deeply he loved her. He said it was the first time he felt so full. Not only in his heart but coursing through his whole body, he could feel it in his bones."

"His exact words were, "Anicka someday you're gonna find someone who really loves you for you and you really love them for them. And that's when you'll know that he's the one," she sighed dreamily.

"Oh so you're looking for the one, huh?" I said teasingly.

"Not anymore," she whispered and kept her head on my shoulder.

My heart swelled. Just two words from her and I was over the moon. I realised I don't need her to express her feelings openly. I don't need her to make the big gestures for my sake. And I don't need her to say 'I love you' because I already know.

She had come into my life at a time when things weren't working out for me. Sure, professionally I was doing an okay job but I wasn't happy in my heart. And then she came and just somehow swept me off my feet.

I didn't feel like I was Siwet Tomar around her, I felt like I was just Siwi. Her Siwi.
And as long as she was my Ani everything would be okay.

But it isn't.

And she isn't.

Too much had gone wrong between us. Too many unsaid words. Too much hurt. Enough that we can't ever go back. 

And we didn't. 

We broke each other instead.

Blame it on the house, blame it on the creators, blame it on the hosts or blame it on the contestants, the truth was the truth. 

We didn't work out. 

No matter how much I loved her or she loved me, we couldn't make it work. We chose the game over each other. And no excuse, no apology, no reason is ever going to change that.

I had been so happy in those weeks with her. I had forgotten where I was. I had forgotten what I was here to do. I had forgotten that thousands of people were watching me and judging me and criticising me.

I could only see her.

Her eyes.

Her smile.

Her laugh.

Her stupidity.

Her humour.

Her childishness.

Her....everything.

For a moment, I had let myself dream. 

I had let myself believe that I could feel this contentment. That I could be happy. That I could find love, the real kind.

But then the light had faded and reality had set in. This wasn't a fairytale. I wasn't a prince. And there is no such thing as a happily ever after.

~end~

So with this we end chapter two. The next chapter officially marks their first meet after Splitsvilla. I hope you're as excited for it as I am. I'm so overwhelmed by all the love I've been receiving on this story. Your approval means the world to me.
Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more!

PS: Don't forget to follow me on instagram for teasers.

Lots of love,
D